newim not that woman 2Have you ever felt that no matter how hard you try, your life simply is not where you want it to be? You work hard at your job or business, and you still don’t have enough money to do the things you desire. Sure, you are not broke, but you are debt and you cannot really afford the lifestyle to try to live on your income.

Perhaps from the outside your relationship looks loving and happy. But the truth is, it’s been months since the two of you had any real meaningful connection. Most of your conversations are about the children, work or money. Rarely, do you two talk about how you feel about each other and how much you truly love and cherish your relationship. Yet, you yearn for this deep connection when you sit and look at other couples.

Your children appear to be doing well. They are making good grades in school. Your adult children are making tremendous career strides and you have some of the most precious grandchildren in the world. Little does anyone know that you have to help your adult children financially and your younger ones are struggling with issues that you are ashamed to talk about.

Many of you maybe asking who is this person Angela is talking about? I’m talking about the millions of women who walk out of their doors everyday wearing a mask of pretense. I use to be one of those women. And what I know about pretending is—it’s exhausting. You have to put on a smile when you want to cry. Folks ask, “Is everything okay?” You answer, “Everything is great.”

I can remember thinking to myself, “If you really knew how things were, how would you feel about me then?” Because it was so important that I was liked by everyone. This was the final and last struggles for me to conquer. I wanted everyone to like me or think well of me.

I finally gave it up when I learned that people base a lot of what they assume about you on their own beliefs. While, I do want to be loved and liked–everyone does, I also recognize that it’s simply not ever going to be the case. And what others think about me is none of my business.

Understanding that I couldn’t please everyone, I finally decided it was okay to show up as my true authentic self. That self with all her flaws and imperfections. The imperfect life that I was living was just the life designed to teach me my most valuable lessons. Taking off the mask afforded me the peace I needed within and the courage to tell my truth.

Telling my truth was the first step to transforming my life. I told myself the truth first. I admitted that my life was lie and that I wanted something so much better.

Second thing I did was to get clear about what life I really did want to live. I needed to get specific on what made me happy. I needed to be happy in order to bring happiness in to my life and the lives of others.

Thirdly, I sought out the help I needed. I recognized that I could not do this alone. I needed someone who understood my path and what I’d been through and knew how to help me get through it.

Through my years of getting the help, I learned about money, it’s purpose, the energy and I identified my limiting beliefs around money. I learned how to transcend those beliefs and create new ones.

I dealt with my relationship issues. I had to admit that I was a fatherless daughter and much of my issues where not just the things my ex-husband had done to me. There we some deeper things stemming from my father-daughter relationships. I learned the truth and I activated the truth in my life.

I went back and had many heartfelt discussions with my adult children. There were so many things I did wrong when they were growing up. I was broken and broken women raise broken kids. Forgiveness and truth are liberators of the soul.

Nowadays, I live each day and moment free from guilt, shame or fear. I stand courageous in my truth and often times that truth can be painful. My life is still not picture perfect, but I can see clearly through the frame.

What about you? What truth are you hiding? When will you stop living a lie and awaken to your truth? What will it take for the real you to show up fully in life? What if you had nothing to protect, nothing to pretend and nothing to prove? Who would you be and what would you do?

Share your answers below. I’m here for you.