My friend Ernestine Middleton loves to repeat this quote, “The only thing that is constant is change.” Change is one of those things that we as women do our best to avoid. Women need to know the details. We need to know that we can handle and control everything that’s coming our way. It’s all about feeling secure for us.
Yet, embracing change is vital to our growth, expansion and success in life. In order for you to blossom and rise to your full level of potential and possibility, you will surely have to embrace lots of change. Beginning with yourself.
Each time, I’ve ever made the transition onto a new and higher level in my personal and professional life, it was met with much change. It was when I resisted the change, that my life would become filled with suffering and struggle.
The #1 reason women resist change is their lack of Trust. My resistance, just like most women, came from a lack of trust. Unfortunately, most women don’t trust themselves enough. When they think about doing something new, it creates all sorts of thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and lack. Add to that, the fact that most don’t trust others and they don’t trust that there is a greater story unfolding for their life.
But this is something that must change. Because trusting yourself is essential to your success. And women who have a high ability to trust themselves and others are the ones who get to live their big dreams.
The reason why you might not trust yourself is because you’ve had negative, painful, or challenging past experiences that led you to believe that you can’t trust. Maybe you took a risk and it didn’t pay off. Maybe you trusted someone who did you wrong. Or maybe you were simply told that you couldn’t trust, because people make bad decisions and the world is a scary place.
The truth is, we’ve all had these experiences that make us feel like we can’t trust. So if you feel that way, don’t worry… you’re not alone.
But the key is to embrace this lack of trust because it’s hurting you and blocking your ability to achieve more in your life. When you don’t trust yourself or others, you can bet that people don’t trust you either. And that’s a problem, because if people don’t trust you, they won’t do business with you, be in relationship with you, or simply embrace you.
Instead of giving you a 3 step formula to trusting yourself, I would prefer to offer you some questions to consider. Take a moment to consider your feelings on trust. Do you make decisions on a daily basis that reflect your trust in yourself? Do you take risks and try new things? What about your trust with others? When they talk, do you listen from the standpoint of trying to prove them wrong or fight against them?
What about your trust in something greater like God? Can you see that there is a bigger story unfolding for your life? Are you able to let go of control and trust that things will work out just fine? Or do you feel like everything is resting 100% on your shoulders and you have to push and fight your way to success?
As you contemplate these questions, don’t judge the answers you get. Simply become aware of what’s true for you today. You can’t change anything until you are aware of what’s been going on. And with this new awareness, you can begin to make new choices for your life.
Angela Carr Patterson
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