It’s funny how we tend to get frustrated and anxious when nothing seems to be working in our lives.
When there appears to be illusions of darkness all around us. We struggle in our finances, we continue to have relationship issues, job issues or our businesses are underperforming. It feels like we are walking around with this dark cloud over our lives.
I can relate to these scenarios because at one time in my life, these were my experiences as well. I often times felt like my life was cursed. In fact, I even said it a time or two. Until one day, I had an epiphany as to why my life seemed to be one long dark road.
What I came to understand was that my dark experiences were really experiences of intense growth, expansion and transformation. They were not necessarily bad, in spite of the pain I had experienced. They were all necessary parts of my journey.
Imagine for a moment, a flower seed. When the flower seed is planted in the ground, it’s covered with dirt. There’s darkness all around it. But the darkness is providing that seed the necessary nourishment needed for it to eventually grow into a beautiful flower. Another dark place is a mother’s womb. We’ve all been there one time in our lives. It’s dark, yet it’s equipped to provide the baby everything he/she needs to grow and become strong. Then there’s the cocoon, another dark place where the caterpillar enters and exits as a beautiful butterfly. Within the dark cocoon, a radial transformation takes place and end result is something magnificent.
So in the midst of what you think is a dark season, I recommend you shift your perspective by asking yourself, “what is this dark season offering me?” What is the gift that I’m to receive while here? Listen quietly, allow your heart to remain open and begin to embrace the gift of answer.
Life is set up for you to win, even when it appears that you are not. When we shift our thinking from victimization to victorious and understand the power of transformation, our lives will begin to up level in ways we’ve yet to imagine. The one thing that all dark places have in common is an expiration date.
The dark places are only meant to last for a short period of time. They have an end. They don’t last forever. Our job is to flow and stop resisting. So the next time you find yourself in a dark season in your life, celebrate because the Light is just around the corner.
Share how you will see your dark season differently? Leave your answer below in the comment box.
Often times, we tend to blame others for what’s going on in our lives. Just the other day, I found myself blaming someone for what I was feeling. Yes, I was did just that. None of us are immune to forgetting who we are. And Lord knows, I did forget.
I was feeling so betrayed and so hurt…all in my feelings. The person for whom this was directed had no clue. She was confused and didn’t understand what was happening. We met and had a long conversation about why I was so upset with her. I gave very real, logical reasons for why I felt I was justified in feeling the way I did. But how many of you know that’s how our subconscious works? We feel very justified in our erroneous beliefs and thinking.
As we discussed all of this meaningless stuff that I was bringing up, my long time friend of thirty years apologized. I apologized, then we ate some food and laughed.
But when I arrived back home, I still was not feeling any real relief. After much rest, reflection, meditation and prayer, I recognized what was really happening here. I was able to get to the heart of the matter. To the truth. I will always tell you the truth, even when it does not hold me in the greatest light. As a spiritual thought leader and global life strategist, I have come to understand the importance of always telling the truth and getting to the heart, the core of the matter.
The truth is, we must be willing to take full responsibility for our healing and our lives. Each of us is the cause of whatever we think, feel and do. We cannot heal if we give away our power by believing that other people and circumstances have control over our lives or that they are the reason for our feelings and thoughts.
We must completely abandon any tendency to make excuses, to blame and to play the victim. On that day, I was all in my feelings and victimhood. Something that I just KNEW I’d conquered years ago. But personal growth and expansion has no expiration date. We are always a work in progress and will forever need to continue to shift. This is an important thing to be mindful of.
I knew that none of this was about my friend, or what was happening with us. This was about me.
Recently, I have been working on a new level of my work, my calling, my vision. Stepping into a newness, bigger than anything I’ve ever done before. And I have done some really big things in my career such as working with A-List Celebrities, Hollywood Executives and producing events in Hollywood and NYC that others only dream about. I’ve done some really powerful things, like bringing together individuals and companies that resulted in a mult-millon dollar projects. But what I am embarking upon is so much more bigger, deeper and meaningful to the planet.
Somewhere deep within, I’ve been fearful. Not on a surface level, but on an unconscious level. My coaches, mentors and I have even discussed these fears. And I just knew I was okay. But then on an unconscious level, I created this situation with my friend. It was meant to distract, sabotage and serve as a barrier between me and my vision. If I could give energy to this situation, I couldn’t give energy to the new path I’m on. I had created a situation that matched my deepest fears. Of course, I felt it was something real that was being done to me by my friend. Because, when we are in this space, we are confident that we are NOT wrong. That’s how it normally works.
But the truth is, if we have a problem outside, we must go inside to address it. If you don’t like what’s happening now, then be accountable for choosing differently and for changing your perspectives, your awareness and your life. This is exactly what I did. I went inside, became accountable, atoned for my error, apologized and changed my perspective, my awareness and consequently, my life.
Things are well between my friend and I. But this was a great lesson for me. Fear is a gripping and sneaky thing. We must be aware of how it shows up. It may not show up with your teeth shattering and your body trembling. It just may show up as in a situation that triggers all kinds of emotional stuff for you and others that has absolutely nothing to do with what’s really going on. A sneak attack.
I often take risks by sharing parts of myself that are not so pretty. But I’ve come to know that all of me is not always flawless. Yet, it’s what makes me colorful and even dynamic. I promise to always tell you the truth. But more importantly, I will always tell the truth to myself about myself. When I share my many flaws, it keeps me grounded and helps hold me accountable to change and to my beliefs and my teachings.
So, the next time you find yourself blaming and in victim mode, remember, it could be a distraction trying to sabotage your next level. Go in deeper, be accountable, recognized what’s happening and shift quickly. Your life depends on it.
I’m Angela Carr Patterson, Your Global Life Strategist and I’m here for YOU.
Let me hear your thoughts below.
In my line of work I have the unique opportunity to speak with women from around the world. One common challenge for most women I meet is dealing with feelings of unworthiness. Not so much in a self rejection kind of way, but in feeling that women are not living their truth.
As a woman, you spend so much of your time taking care of other people’s issues and problems that it leaves little room for yourself. I remember sitting down not too long ago reflecting back on my day. I did a mental list of how many times during that day I was called upon to fix, listen, share, take care or put out a fire…of someone else’s problems. When I took a look deeper, I realized that I personally did have any struggles or problems that day. Yet, I had allowed everyone else’s problems to become mine.
My stomach was feeling tight, my breathing was shallow and I was exhausted from other people’s problems. Some were my adult children’s issues, my mom’s issues, my friends issues and client’s issues. It was in that moment that I recognized that I didn’t have to be the cure all for everyone. I didn’t need to be the first person they thought of when something happened to them.
Do you feel me? Don’t you get tired of folks looking to you to be a quick fix and once it’s fixed, you don’t hear from them again until it’s broken again?
Instead of being upset with others or myself, I simply decided this wasn’t the life I wanted for myself. So I made a change. Now, when I get a call from someone who has an emergency problem, I ask myself these questions, “Is this a lesson for me or them? Is this my problem to solve? Am I really needed in this situation or is their a bigger story unfolding that does not involve me?” Once I’ve honestly answered these questions, I take actions that are in alignment with the answers. If my answers are “no” to the questions, I simply listen to them for a brief moment, then I tell them that I will pray for them and to keep me posted. I then say goodbye.
Of course my private coaching clients have the honor of having me there to coach them through their issues. It’s what they hired me to do. So, that’s a different story because it’s my job. But I’m talking about something different here.
As women, we were not designed to be everyone’s dumping ground. We are nurturers, life givers, but not door mats. Our need to be needed because that’s what makes us feel worthy can become a destructive pattern for us. We have to be very mindful that being needed doesn’t stroke our ego or make you feel special or important. You are already special and important. Stop organizing your life around everyone else. It’s the not best for you and it’s a form of hiding. Hold yourself in the highest manner and others will do the same.
We are to be there for others when they are in need. But you cannot never give to others from an empty cup. Women all over the world are serving from empty cups. It has left us feeling overwhelmed, depleted and drained. This not God’s highest good for you. One of the most important questions I have come to ask myself is , “What would they do if I was dead?” They would find a way. That’s what they would do.
In living Love as a Lifestyle, you owe it to those you care about to take care of yourself first. This allows for you to give your best self to them. Who’s filling your cup? You have to fill your own cup. Take a moment and breathe. Stop carrying other people’s problems on your back. Release and stand up for yourself. It’s a lesson worth learning.
I want to hear from you…what do you think?
My friend Ernestine Middleton loves to repeat this quote, “The only thing that is constant is change.” Change is one of those things that we as women do our best to avoid. Women need to know the details. We need to know that we can handle and control everything that’s coming our way. It’s all about feeling secure for us.
Yet, embracing change is vital to our growth, expansion and success in life. In order for you to blossom and rise to your full level of potential and possibility, you will surely have to embrace lots of change. Beginning with yourself.
Each time, I’ve ever made the transition onto a new and higher level in my personal and professional life, it was met with much change. It was when I resisted the change, that my life would become filled with suffering and struggle.
The #1 reason women resist change is their lack of Trust. My resistance, just like most women, came from a lack of trust. Unfortunately, most women don’t trust themselves enough. When they think about doing something new, it creates all sorts of thoughts and feelings of inadequacy and lack. Add to that, the fact that most don’t trust others and they don’t trust that there is a greater story unfolding for their life.
But this is something that must change. Because trusting yourself is essential to your success. And women who have a high ability to trust themselves and others are the ones who get to live their big dreams.
The reason why you might not trust yourself is because you’ve had negative, painful, or challenging past experiences that led you to believe that you can’t trust. Maybe you took a risk and it didn’t pay off. Maybe you trusted someone who did you wrong. Or maybe you were simply told that you couldn’t trust, because people make bad decisions and the world is a scary place.
The truth is, we’ve all had these experiences that make us feel like we can’t trust. So if you feel that way, don’t worry… you’re not alone.
But the key is to embrace this lack of trust because it’s hurting you and blocking your ability to achieve more in your life. When you don’t trust yourself or others, you can bet that people don’t trust you either. And that’s a problem, because if people don’t trust you, they won’t do business with you, be in relationship with you, or simply embrace you.
Instead of giving you a 3 step formula to trusting yourself, I would prefer to offer you some questions to consider. Take a moment to consider your feelings on trust. Do you make decisions on a daily basis that reflect your trust in yourself? Do you take risks and try new things? What about your trust with others? When they talk, do you listen from the standpoint of trying to prove them wrong or fight against them?
What about your trust in something greater like God? Can you see that there is a bigger story unfolding for your life? Are you able to let go of control and trust that things will work out just fine? Or do you feel like everything is resting 100% on your shoulders and you have to push and fight your way to success?
As you contemplate these questions, don’t judge the answers you get. Simply become aware of what’s true for you today. You can’t change anything until you are aware of what’s been going on. And with this new awareness, you can begin to make new choices for your life.
Angela Carr Patterson
I’d love to hear from you. Please leave a comment below.
Hello Beautiful Love Lifestylers!
I am still excited from my time with Oprah at her Life You Want Weekend in Atlanta, GA. It was the most powerful and enlightening time of my life. I truly believe a deeper shift happened within me at that event.
Since returning home, I’ve asked myself a question that I always ask when learning something new. And it is, “What key actions will I take as a result of this new information?”
I will tell you that I have taken some massive action steps in just one week. I will surely share them with you at another time. But here’s my point today.
We are all in information overload. There’s not anything we want to know that we can’t find on the Internet. We have access to all kinds of information. But this information does us no good if we don’t access it deep enough to create massive change in our lives.
I believe there are 2 things that you begin doing to create massive change and transformation with the information that comes to you each day.
1. Share what you’ve learned. When we share, we anchor our own learning. Many times we want to keep the information to ourselves because we don’t want anyone else to have it. We somehow believe that if someone else has the same information they will achieve more than us. This is an illusion that keeps you thinking that if someone else wins, you lose. It’s called the zero sum mentality which will keep you stuck. So begin to share in empowering ways and watch your life change.
2. The second thing is to ask yourself key questions. Tony Robbins said, “The quality of your life is in relationship to the questions you ask yourself.” One great question to ask yourself after learning something new is, “What key action will I take as a result of what I just learned?” This question forces you to do something, to take action. Massive action equals massive results. The bigger the action step, the bigger the result.
Yes, we are inundated with information. We can’t change this fact. But we can allow the information we receive to benefit us when we understand what to do with it. The above one-two steps will do just that for you. So get to stepping!
I am holding a space for you to shine and celebrating your success.
So remember, live authentically, laugh everyday and embrace love as a lifestyle. Because success in life, really does begin with love.
Have a rich and love filled day.
I would love to hear what you have to say, so leave your comments below..