by Apatterson | Nov 18, 2014 | Personal Growth, Relationships
Often times we get stuck in life because of circumstances that come our way. Perhaps you find yourself unemployed or divorced from your marriage. Maybe you were forced to close your business or move to another state. Whatever the reason, you have become stuck.
I believe there is one reason that many people find themselves stuck and can’t seem to move beyond their circumstances. The reason we can’t seem to move beyond our stuck places is because of our beliefs about our circumstances. Many people believe that they’ve been robbed. You believe that your job was stolen from you, that your relationship was stolen or that you were robbed of that business. You feel victimized because you should not have been fired or laid off. You feel that your marriage didn’t work because your spouse was not cooperative in making it work. In other words, you feel your loss in these situations were a result of something taken from you.
But what if these things were not stolen from you? What if the cycles and seasons were complete? There are times on our lives when things have to be completed. When we believe something was stolen, we remain in a constant state of wanting it back. This attitude keeps you stuck in always looking backward instead of moving forward. You focus all of your energies in trying to recapture what was instead of looking towards what can be.
Perhaps you are not trying to get your marriage back, but you spend a lot of energy trying to find that next husband instead of allowing yourself to create a relationship with yourself. Maybe you don’t want that same job or that same business, but you go into a panic and stress desperately trying to get another job. Why not breathe and allow God to direct you into the direction of the new job waiting on you. Stillness creates the magic.
What if you could accept the fact that everything that has left was a result of a cycle or season being complete? And when something is complete, you can rest and be at peace that things turned out just as it was supposed to.
As a result of this realization, you can move forward with a deep expectancy of something more beautiful and more expansive in stored for you. You may not get a replacement for that husband because you can enter a new and beautiful union that is deeper and richer than anything you could have desired. Not a replaced marriage, but a new one because you decided to spend time with yourself first.
You see when you complete high school, you don’t feel that you were robbed of high school. You have a sense of completion and you then begin to anticipate a new world called college. You don’t regret high school or feel robbed, you celebrate leaving high school and moving onto the next chapter of your life.
So the next time something in your life ends, no need to try and get it back. Recognize that it was not stolen, but that season has completed itself and it’s time to move onto a new chapter. This is how you get unstuck by celebrating what was and embracing what can be.
And remember, live authentically, laugh everyday and embrace love as a lifestyle.
We want to hear from you. What are your thoughts about getting unstuck? Leave a comment below…
by Apatterson | Sep 16, 2014 | Personal Growth, Vision
Hello Beautiful Love Lifestylers!
I am still excited from my time with Oprah at her Life You Want Weekend in Atlanta, GA. It was the most powerful and enlightening time of my life. I truly believe a deeper shift happened within me at that event.
Since returning home, I’ve asked myself a question that I always ask when learning something new. And it is, “What key actions will I take as a result of this new information?”
I will tell you that I have taken some massive action steps in just one week. I will surely share them with you at another time. But here’s my point today.
We are all in information overload. There’s not anything we want to know that we can’t find on the Internet. We have access to all kinds of information. But this information does us no good if we don’t access it deep enough to create massive change in our lives.
I believe there are 2 things that you begin doing to create massive change and transformation with the information that comes to you each day.
1. Share what you’ve learned. When we share, we anchor our own learning. Many times we want to keep the information to ourselves because we don’t want anyone else to have it. We somehow believe that if someone else has the same information they will achieve more than us. This is an illusion that keeps you thinking that if someone else wins, you lose. It’s called the zero sum mentality which will keep you stuck. So begin to share in empowering ways and watch your life change.
2. The second thing is to ask yourself key questions. Tony Robbins said, “The quality of your life is in relationship to the questions you ask yourself.” One great question to ask yourself after learning something new is, “What key action will I take as a result of what I just learned?” This question forces you to do something, to take action. Massive action equals massive results. The bigger the action step, the bigger the result.
Yes, we are inundated with information. We can’t change this fact. But we can allow the information we receive to benefit us when we understand what to do with it. The above one-two steps will do just that for you. So get to stepping!
I am holding a space for you to shine and celebrating your success.
So remember, live authentically, laugh everyday and embrace love as a lifestyle. Because success in life, really does begin with love.
Have a rich and love filled day.
Angela
I would love to hear what you have to say, so leave your comments below..
by Apatterson | Aug 24, 2014 | Personal Growth, Relationships
Oprah Winfrey and Iyanla Vanzant did an Expose’ on Daddyless Daughters on the OWN network last year in July. Since that time, much as been written and spoken about the impact on a girl’s life when she grows up fatherless. We’ve been inundated with theories, studies and researches that show the many negative consequences on a girl growing up without an attentive, loving father.
New books are on the rise, television shows are being created and even the bloggers are hopping on the band wagon to talk about fatherless daughters. “It’s as if we have become some sort of phenomenon,” say’s Angela Carr Patterson, Author of the highly acclaimed book, “I’m Not That Woman…A Fatherless Daughter’s Journey to Being” and creator of the soon to be released documentary, “The Making of a Fatherless Daughter.”
Patterson continues to say, “Everyone is trying to tell our stories, but we are the ones who lived it. I think it’s about time that we had our say and tell our own stories, in our own unique way.”
With the success of her book, Angela has traveled speaking to women who grew up with an unattached, unavailable or absent father. Through her “Fatherless Daughter Breakthrough System”, she has helped women from around the world heal their daddy wounds through the principles of Love, Acceptance and Forgiveness. Understanding the depth of this pain and the many severe consequences experienced by females once they reach adulthood, Angela is on a mission to help women heal and create a new story for their lives.
As a third generation fatherless daughter herself, Angela knows first hand what it feels like to be invisible to your father while growing up. And as a result of this one key missing element in her life, she certainly struggled to make her life work. After her first marriage of sixteen years ended in a bitter divorce, Angela began what she calls her, “Journey to Being.” The “Journey to Being” process consist of seven principles that she incorporated in her life to help her move through her pain to healing her daddy wounds and to now living a life of love, acceptance and forgiveness.
The founder of The Fatherless Daughter Network and a Fatherless Daughter Advocate, Angela is thrilled to introduce her new soon to be released documentary, “The Making of a Fatherless Daughter.” This powerful and sensitive short film features the stories of five women who grew up as fatherless daughters. Two of the women fathers were in the home and viewers will learn why they still considered themselves fatherless daughters. The stories are told with transparency, honesty, a lot of raw emotions and more importantly with an intense amount of forgiveness and love. “The women in this film placed it all there for us to see. They were authentic, real and transparent”, says Angela. Angela continues on by saying, “It’s time that we had our say and told our own stories. We are not a study or a statistic, but we are real women who’s lives have been impacted by this issue. We are not here to blame our dads or play the victim. We are not broken or damaged, we simply need to heal our daddy wounds and rewrite a new story for our lives.”
This film not only shows that it’s possible for women to heal their daddy wounds, but if they are willing, it’s also inevitable.”
To learn more about how you can host a Making of a Fatherless Daughter Viewing or to attend one in your area, contact info@fatherlessdaughters.net. To get more information about The Fatherless Daughter Network, log onto www.fatherlessdaughters.net
by Apatterson | Aug 12, 2014 | Personal Growth, Relationships, Vision
How often do you streeeeeeeetch your outer limit comfort zone?
If you are ready for more passion, excitement, fun and want to come off the same old treadmill…
If you want to express more creativity and spontaneity…If you want to ignite an inner spark so you feel more alive…
If you want more love and more money to come into your life…
Then you need to be willing to take new steps into new territory.
We often hear people say that we need to do something new if we want something new. But what they don’t tell us is “how.” We tend to do the same thing over and over again because that’s what we know. It’s not just what’s comfortable, it’s all we know. I believe we would do more if we knew more. What I’ve learned from coaching couples in conflict is that most of them truly love each other, they simply lack the skills needed to make love work.
As with you. You would have more passion, fun, spark, aliveness, money and love if you truly need “HOW” to obtain it in your life.
What I’ve discovered is that most people don’t seek the help needed because they believe it’s a sign of defeat or it means they don’t know something they should already to know. I say that’s a limiting belief that will always keep you stuck in a rut.
So here’s my question to you. What are you doing right now to learn the “HOW?” That’s your responsibility to find the person or thing that can show you the “HOW.” Then take your next step to make the connection. You life could be radically different in the next 90 days by simply taking the next step to learn the “How.”. You really do have the power to change your life with your next step. What’s Your Next Step? Leave a comment below:
by Apatterson | Jun 25, 2013 | Personal Growth, Relationships
A couple months ago, Oprah Winfrey and Iyanla Vanzant did a show on fatherless sons. It was powerful and it alarmed the world of this epidemic. As I watched, I said to myself, “what about the fatherless daughters of the world.” I guess she heard me…lol! Well, not really. She heard from many women, who wrote in and asked the same question. Therefore, they decided to do something on fatherless daughters as well. They are calling it “Daddyless Daughters.” For some reason, Ms. Vanzant seems to think there is a difference between fatherless daughters and daddyless daughters.
Not to discredit my sister, whom I have the highest love and respect for, I don’t believe there is a difference. The show “Daddyless Daughters” will air soon on the OWN network, so please check your local listing for dates/times.
I watched the taping of these two shows online which will air on OWN later. It was very interesting. They did a segment on the fatherless sons first, as a follow up. Which I loved. But when they got to the “Daddyless Daughters”, I was not as happy. I felt they were a little too playful with the topic. Because of the work I do, I’ve seen so much suffering and I too have experienced the suffering…therefore this topic is no laughing matter.
I felt that they focused on just one type of fatherless daughter, the promiscuous one. Yes, many women who were fatherless will become promiscuous. Studies have proven this as a fact. They will make a lot of wrong choices in relationships because of their daddy wounds. But not all of us, and there are so many other variables to the saga of the fatherless daughters.
You maybe reading this and wondering how does this effect your life? This topic effects all of us because we are trying to form friendships, business partnerships and alliances with women who were fatherless growing up. Please understand that a fatherless daughters is a woman who grew up with an absent, unavailable or unattached father. She is not just a girl whose father was not around. I have discovered that 80% of adult women are experiencing the fatherless daughter syndrome and this one key missing element is having a negative impact on their lives. …even with daddy in the home. But what impacts one woman, impacts us all.
This fatherless daughter issue is huge. It’s causing women to suffer on many levels of their lives. Not just with relationships with men and promiscuity, but also in how we raise our children, how we behave on our jobs, how we interact with others, our relationship with money and how we see ourselves and view the world as a whole.
I am so excited that Oprah has started this conversation. I have been studying, writing, speaking and teaching on fatherless daughters for years. So it delights me to know that a conversation has started on a much larger and global level. But there must be more than simply talking. We must find solutions to a growing issue among us that is causing so many women’s lives to suffer. We may not make the 6 o’clock news, but we are out here and we are many. When our women suffer, so does our world.
While we are having this conversation, let’s also find ways to heal. Over the years, I have helped hundreds of fatherless daughters to heal and move their lives forward through my breakthrough program.
I will tell you that to date: my “Fatherless Daughter Breakthrough Coaching Program” is the ONLY one of its kind that exists today. While I am delighted to know that I have the only existing coaching program specifically designed to help us breakthrough our daddy’s wounds, I am also shocked to know that more people have not stepped up to do more. That is why I am going to be offering a certification to those women who would love to teach and coach The Fatherless Daughter’s Breakthrough Program. You will be certified to help so many women through this program.
As I continued to watch Oprah’s taping of the show, I was able to identify why she and Iyanla were not as in depth and laughed a lot during the discussion on this topic…they too are fatherless daughters. In my opinion, Oprah’s dad appeared unattached and Iyanla’s was unavailable…according to the stories they’ve shared with us. They would have had to dig into their pain and reveal it on the show in order to really teach how to heal. And trust me when I say that daddy wounds are deep and painful wounds. But it’s when we show our wounds, acknowledge they exist, that we can really begin to heal them.
Again, I salute and love dearly these two women for having the conversation. Now we must start the movement towards healing. If you want to become a certified facilitator of The Fatherless Daughter Breakthrough System, or you simply want to heal your own daddy wounds, I want to invite you to join me on for my upcoming Fatherless Daughter Breakthrough Coaching Program. This program is also a pre-requisite for those who want to become a certified facilitator. I am offering this program at a huge savings, so you’d better hurry and register. I have limited seats available.
“Fatherless Daughters Group Coaching Program”, starting on July 22nd.
