Life can be difficult sometimes. To say the least, mine seemed to have taken a road that I was not prepared for.
Losing my mom suddenly 8 months ago, was like a sucker punch in my soul. I truly didn’t know if I would ever breathe again, let alone smile. But I did.
Then in February, my beautiful sister-in-law passed away. I watched my brother, Robert, struggle with his sadness. How do you wrapped your brain around losing your mother and your wife.
You would think this was all. But it wasn’t. Because on April 13th, we loss my dear brother Clifford. Clifford was my rock, my safe space, my friend and in a lot a ways, my father.
I would be lying if I told you that I was not broken hearted, deeply sadden and in a lot of pain. I could never have predicted the events that have taken place in my life over these last 8 months.
What do you do when you’re unprepared for loss and feel so unequipped for this season in your life?
I did a Facebook Live on yesterday about how I am dealing with such tragic losses.
My 5 Steps to Dealing w/ Loss!
If this has message has inspired you, I would love to hear from you. Please comment below and also share with your friends.
There are times in our lives when we are forced to live a life without answers. In fact, we have more questions than we have answers. We could have never predicted the events that have played out in our lives over the years.
We find ourselves in spaces, situations and on paths which we don’t have a map. We are conflicted trying to figure out the best and the fastest way to fix things or turn them around. Because that’s what we do…solve problems. Right?
But what if you don’t have the answers or the solutions as readily as you used to? What if that which you have need of may take a lot longer than before? I am here to tell that it will take longer. Transforming your life will take more than a weekend retreat or a good book.
It’s in these moments when you must go deeper. Deeper levels than ever before. I call it Immersion. Immersion is the first space you must enter in order to gain access to those deeper spaces within you that holds the ULTIMATE mysteries, answers and YOUR PEACE.
Immersion is not just a 2 day sabbatical in which you can force answers to surface. You can’t chant them into being or meditate them into existence. No, Immersion is the entrance to an entire new paradigm for living. This is not a two month process. No it’s a long intentional contemplative “Womb Space” for the rebirthing that’s about to take place. in your life. It’s an unfolding, emergence and awakening of something you’ve never known before. It’s about cultivating the space for this Awakening. It’s the start of a rebirthing for you and everything you’ve ever known before. This is not about finding answers, fixing things or solving problems.
This is about going deeper into new levels of wisdom, insights and TRUTH that finally leads you to your Awakening. Your Awakened Self. Your Awakened Truth. Your Awakened Life.
Here are 3 Stages to Your Awakening
1. Immersion requires that you be willing to let it all go. There are things, people, ideas and more that we think we cannot live without. This is simply not true. In order to go deeper, you’ve got to be willing to let go of your need to know, your need to be comfortable and your need for answers. Because once you begin to Immerse deeper, you will discover new and infinite levels of possibilites that you’ve never ever known before. But you cannot carry old ideas into this space. Empty yourself, release all non essential activities, people and things that you can set aside for a time period and be willing to trust the process. Because this may take some time. I must tell you this is a scary step and it’s very uncomfortable. But so necessary.
2. Emergence is what happens as a result of your deep Immersion Experience. You emerge feeling as if you’ve been away for a while. And you have been. You begin to see things differently as if your eyes were once blinded and now you see clearly. Be mindful to know that as this emergence happens, you maybe challenged by those close to you because they no longer understand who you are becoming. You will find yourself doing and saying things that’s never been possible for you. You’ve somehow been reborn. Because it is a rebirthing of everything. You may close a business, quit a job, change a career focus, leave a relationship, lose weight, and more. Because as you emerge, you’re also shedding and releasing that which no longer serves you or where you’re heading.
3. Your Awakening. As you begin to Awaken to Your Truth, it becomes clear to you what’s possible. Yet, you understand this realm of possibility for you will always require deep levels of faith and truth in God. This where you have come to the edge of your known self and now have stepped into a part of you whom you’ve not met until now..Your Divine Self. As you awaken to the truth of who you are, you will begin to see life differently and live it differently with more purpose, intention and love. You will find that you’re no longer in a hurry, you embrace every moment and you love deeper. You life becomes filled with more love, more abundance and more meaning. This is when the magic happens and you know what they say about magic…you can’t turn it off.
I don’t know where you are right now in your life. But I do know that where you are…you can’t stay. So what will you do now?
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On this coming Thursday, it will be March 1st. We are now entering into the 3rd month of 2018. By now, many people are either winning in their commitments they made the first of the year and many or not.
Why do you think some people keep their New Year’s commitments and intentions and others simply don’t?
It all comes down to commitment. We are constantly making commitments and not keeping them. We start diets and by the end of the week, we’ve fallen off the wagon. We start projects, businesses, and ideas that at first excite and thrill us, yet never seem to complete them. Or perhaps we create bills and debt, but don’t pay them.
Did you know that setting an intention or making a commitment and not honoring it creates some serious ongoing energy drain? None of us needs that. It’s not good enough to just intend to do something, it must be put into action.
Take a deep breathe. There’s no need to judge yourself here. Simply become aware of how you have been showing up in life when it comes to your commitments. Then make a new choice.
I want to share with you 2 things you can do to improve upon your commitments.
1. Be clear and specific about what you want, what you are aiming for with your commitment. The more clarity you have, the more likely you will follow through. Many times we get stuck and don’t follow through because we are not really clear about what we want to achieve.
2. Get clear about “why” you want to do that thing you’ve intended to do. The more you understand your motivation for it, the more committed you will be to follow through, even if you have to build new habits that support you.
As with anything, when we get to the deepest reason for why we want to do something and we understand clearly what that something is, we will tap into the powerful motivating forces that will support our success. This experience will have more meaning for you and you will follow through and realize greater results.
Losing my mom back in August was one of the worst days of my life. It shook my very foundation and the pain was and still is horrific. So horrible until it landed me in the hospital for 3 days, two weeks ago, because I allowed it to manifest in my body by not giving it it’s proper release. I refused to grieve. I was not willing to accept the unacceptable truth of losing my closest friend, my sister friend, my safe space, my warmth, my love…my mommy.
As I sat in the hospital and looked around into the faces of my beloved dear husband, my brother, my father, my son…the men who love me the most…I saw in their eyes fear, despair and defeat because they couldn’t fix it for me…men like to fix things. The love that I felt radiating from those men as they all surrounded my bed, literally lifted my spirit and my actual body. It was in that moment I was reminded how much I’m loved, cared for, cherished and needed. My oldest brother called me from Georgia and I could feel his fear and love through the phone. Mom taught all of us how to love and care for one another. It was in that moment that I remembered that love. A lot can happen in 3 days. Jesus rose from the dead in 3 days and I rose from that bed in 3 days with a renewed mindset and strength.
My mother accompanied me on my last 4 speaking engagements before she passed. I remember her saying to me as we left one of the gigs…she said, “You had those folks mesmerized. You could hear a pin drop in the place. All eyes were on you because you had something real to say to them. Don’t stop doing what you do, because people need you. What you are saying to the people is needed and they are hungry for it. I am so proud of you. And you looked so pretty.” I remembered what she said, “They need you.”
We’re only here in this world for a brief moment and we are here for a purpose. When we lose sight of that purpose, we forget who we are. Where purpose is unknown, abuse is inevitable. Two days before landing in the hospital, my daughter said to me, “Mom, I know you miss grandma and so do I. But you’re my mother and I don’t want to lose you.”
It frightened my children that I was in the hospital. I’ve never been in the hospital but only to have babies and some brief out patient procedures. I had to figure out how I landed there. I did. It was because I had forgotten who I was and why I am who I am. The great thing is that we can at many moment remember. Love allowed me to remember. I keep telling you guys that LOVE is the most powerful force in the universe.
I still miss mama so badly. But I also remember that my mother lived life full out. She left nothing undone. Everything that she ever wanted, she brought it. Everything that she wanted to do, she did it. She was fun, loving and straight to the point. She lived her dreams, she loved her family and friends, she fulfilled her purpose in life and left a rich legacy for all to remember and live through. Everything that she promised, she honored.
My mother loved me so completely. I never had to second guess that love. What we shared as mother-daughter was something so sacred and so precious that I can’t give it language. People saw it when they saw us together. I’m my mother’s daughter…yes. And I will always be. Yet, I must never forget that I am God’s daughter first.
I’ve learned that I’m stronger than I thought. I know that God has prepared me and kept me for this very moment. That even in one of my greatest loss, there’s victory in God. My soul’s desire is to be of service to God and His purpose for my life. To simply live out my highest level of love, authenticity, creativity, productivity and success.
I also learned that in my deepest sorrow, there’s always a rainbow staring me in the face waiting to be noticed. My rainbow is the announcing of a new grand baby on the way. Yesterday, my daughter and son-in-love announced that they are pregnant. What an amazing gift!
I shall forever love my mother and be her daughter. Yet, I’m also a mother, a grandmother, a sister, a friend, a wife and I am so blessed to have a husband who loves me, family, friends and supporting cast who don’t mind demonstrating what love looks like to me. I’m so very blessed to know a God who never leaves me or forsakes me.
Today, I’m well. For that I am grateful. This is a lesson that I learned from my mom. Now, if you excuse me…I’ve got some life to live.
It’s funny how we tend to get frustrated and anxious when nothing seems to be working in our lives.
When there appears to be illusions of darkness all around us. We struggle in our finances, we continue to have relationship issues, job issues or our businesses are underperforming. It feels like we are walking around with this dark cloud over our lives.
I can relate to these scenarios because at one time in my life, these were my experiences as well. I often times felt like my life was cursed. In fact, I even said it a time or two. Until one day, I had an epiphany as to why my life seemed to be one long dark road.
What I came to understand was that my dark experiences were really experiences of intense growth, expansion and transformation. They were not necessarily bad, in spite of the pain I had experienced. They were all necessary parts of my journey.
Imagine for a moment, a flower seed. When the flower seed is planted in the ground, it’s covered with dirt. There’s darkness all around it. But the darkness is providing that seed the necessary nourishment needed for it to eventually grow into a beautiful flower. Another dark place is a mother’s womb. We’ve all been there one time in our lives. It’s dark, yet it’s equipped to provide the baby everything he/she needs to grow and become strong. Then there’s the cocoon, another dark place where the caterpillar enters and exits as a beautiful butterfly. Within the dark cocoon, a radial transformation takes place and end result is something magnificent.
So in the midst of what you think is a dark season, I recommend you shift your perspective by asking yourself, “what is this dark season offering me?” What is the gift that I’m to receive while here? Listen quietly, allow your heart to remain open and begin to embrace the gift of answer.
Life is set up for you to win, even when it appears that you are not. When we shift our thinking from victimization to victorious and understand the power of transformation, our lives will begin to up level in ways we’ve yet to imagine. The one thing that all dark places have in common is an expiration date.
The dark places are only meant to last for a short period of time. They have an end. They don’t last forever. Our job is to flow and stop resisting. So the next time you find yourself in a dark season in your life, celebrate because the Light is just around the corner.
Share how you will see your dark season differently? Leave your answer below in the comment box.