When I started this journey of helping women who grew up with an unattached, unavailable or absent father, I had no idea how big the need would be. Before facing my own father-daughter issues, I simply didn’t believe I had any. I would always say, “I didn’t miss what I didn’t have.” Little did I know that I was carrying a lot of pain as a result of not having my father’s provision, protection, presence and praise. The 4 essentials every girl needs from her dad.
You see, I was a model student in school. I made good grades, my mom had me in extra curriculum actives such as modeling, piano, voice and dance. I was in social clubs, on the church choir, was a debutante and never got in any trouble. So of course all of my teachers, mentors, neighbors, my mom and grandmother all thought I was okay. But what they didn’t know was the deep “ACHE” I carried inside of me every single day. So, just because your daughter is excelling, doesn’t mean that she’s not feeling the ache on the inside. I never really knew what this ache was…I simply knew that I didn’t believe I was pretty, I didn’t think I was lovable, I didn’t think people would like me, all which made me appear distant, stand off and unapproachable. Many girls thought this was me being uppity or thinking I was better than them. Far from the truth. I was living a constant internal dialogue that said, “you are not good enough, you’re invisible and do not exist in your daddy’s eyes.” These feelings flooded my soul and NO ONE knew.
Fast forward to being married with three children. Broken trying to make love work and be a good mother all while carrying these internal beliefs. Disaster is what was created. When that married of 16 years ended…I was alone, broke and broken. I didn’t have a plan B. When I finally uncovered the root of my ache, I knew that I had to heal. A girl’s identity if tied to her father-daughter relationship. I lived my life all this time with no real sense of identity. Our pain will never heal until we heal our mis-placed sense of identity. I had to retrace my life beyond my mother’s womb. I started the journey. There began my Journey to Being. This process was a painful one indeed…I must admit. But it was one that I had to go through.
The seven foundational principles of The Journey to Being Process™ healed and radically transformed my life and is now doing the same for countless women, girls and fathers around the world. It amazes me each time I receive a phone call, an email, a gift or a text from someone who has been effected by this work. I’ve seen marriages put back together. I’ve seen father-daughter relationships healed. I’ve witnessed the power of forgiveness breakthrough barriers, beliefs and blocks that have prevented many dreams from being actualized.
Now as we travel around the country showing the documentary, The Making of a Fatherless Daughter, I can only believe that we will see more women and men become free. Who knew this could happen? I believe that my life’s purpose was encoded within my life’s story. On my travels, I get to hear stories from others who have shared the common pain and bonds of fatherlessness. I also witness many of the fathers’ pain who simply didn’t know how to show up for their daughters and the many unfortunate journeys they’ve too have traveled. What I know for sure is that I’ve been given a gift with this work. I also know that when daddy leaves, something dies. But through this work, we can bring back life into the hearts of men and their daughters where possible. We can clearly redefine our lives beyond our fatherlessness. We can reclaim our true value and worth and finally…we can rewrite the tragic story of fatherlessness throughout the land. We can help women transform their relationship with love and money, build dreams and birth visions and live the Awakened Life.
Yet, it’s not possible for me to do it alone. I need help. Those women who will hear this will answer with a maternal care to help protect that which we love…we love our greatest resource…our women/girls. This is a call for those of you who work with women and girls to join our movement. Our mission is to ignite a generation of Fatherless Daughter Advocates who will facilitate workshops/programs/events that will totally transform the lives of the women and girls within their communities. We will provide training and ongoing support to help you lead “The Journey to Being Process™” in a workshop format or as an ongoing program that will go beyond skill teaching to becoming a life transformative experience for both the women and girls you serve.
Our Online Virtual Certification Training Program will show you how to take your work to the next level as an experienced, trusted authority, by learning proven techniques for bringing women and girls together regardless of differences in age, ethnicity or economic background, and deliver deep, result driven personal growth and development content.
Let’s have a conversation about how you can join this movement of transformation and change. When women and girls heal, so does a nation heal. Schedule your conversation with me: www.yesiamready.info
It’s been a moment since I’ve shared with you. That’s because I have been traveling speaking and I hosted my Fatherless Girls Summit.
Over 60 girls, ages 12-17, gathered to learn about healing and transforming their daddy wounds. We had some of the most powerful speakers on the planet, great entertainment and a day of fun, excitement and transformation. As you can see from the photo, the setting was absolutely beautifully done by Shonda Harrington of Anointed Designs and Planning.
I have received so many emails from the girls who attended the event. I want to share one of them with you…
“Good morning Mrs. Angela! As you know, yesterday was Father’s day so I baked my dad a cake. He came, picked it up, handed me some money and left. While I am used to this, I was different this time. I wasn’t angry at him, I wasn’t aggravated by his presence. I’ve finally forgiven him and I feel so much better about a lot of things! So, thank you because if I hadn’t went to the summit last weekend, I’d most likely still be angry with him today, but I’m not. I even hugged him and told him I loved him before he left and that is improvement! I’m proud of myself for opening my heart and forgiving him. Again, thank you so much! I love you!”
A couple months ago, Oprah Winfrey and Iyanla Vanzant did a show on fatherless sons. It was powerful and it alarmed the world of this epidemic. As I watched, I said to myself, “what about the fatherless daughters of the world.” I guess she heard me…lol! Well, not really. She heard from many women, who wrote in and asked the same question. Therefore, they decided to do something on fatherless daughters as well. They are calling it “Daddyless Daughters.” For some reason, Ms. Vanzant seems to think there is a difference between fatherless daughters and daddyless daughters.
Not to discredit my sister, whom I have the highest love and respect for, I don’t believe there is a difference. The show “Daddyless Daughters” will air soon on the OWN network, so please check your local listing for dates/times.
I watched the taping of these two shows online which will air on OWN later. It was very interesting. They did a segment on the fatherless sons first, as a follow up. Which I loved. But when they got to the “Daddyless Daughters”, I was not as happy. I felt they were a little too playful with the topic. Because of the work I do, I’ve seen so much suffering and I too have experienced the suffering…therefore this topic is no laughing matter.
I felt that they focused on just one type of fatherless daughter, the promiscuous one. Yes, many women who were fatherless will become promiscuous. Studies have proven this as a fact. They will make a lot of wrong choices in relationships because of their daddy wounds. But not all of us, and there are so many other variables to the saga of the fatherless daughters.
You maybe reading this and wondering how does this effect your life? This topic effects all of us because we are trying to form friendships, business partnerships and alliances with women who were fatherless growing up. Please understand that a fatherless daughters is a woman who grew up with an absent, unavailable or unattached father. She is not just a girl whose father was not around. I have discovered that 80% of adult women are experiencing the fatherless daughter syndrome and this one key missing element is having a negative impact on their lives. …even with daddy in the home. But what impacts one woman, impacts us all.
This fatherless daughter issue is huge. It’s causing women to suffer on many levels of their lives. Not just with relationships with men and promiscuity, but also in how we raise our children, how we behave on our jobs, how we interact with others, our relationship with money and how we see ourselves and view the world as a whole.
I am so excited that Oprah has started this conversation. I have been studying, writing, speaking and teaching on fatherless daughters for years. So it delights me to know that a conversation has started on a much larger and global level. But there must be more than simply talking. We must find solutions to a growing issue among us that is causing so many women’s lives to suffer. We may not make the 6 o’clock news, but we are out here and we are many. When our women suffer, so does our world.
While we are having this conversation, let’s also find ways to heal. Over the years, I have helped hundreds of fatherless daughters to heal and move their lives forward through my breakthrough program.
I will tell you that to date: my “Fatherless Daughter Breakthrough Coaching Program” is the ONLY one of its kind that exists today. While I am delighted to know that I have the only existing coaching program specifically designed to help us breakthrough our daddy’s wounds, I am also shocked to know that more people have not stepped up to do more. That is why I am going to be offering a certification to those women who would love to teach and coach The Fatherless Daughter’s Breakthrough Program. You will be certified to help so many women through this program.
As I continued to watch Oprah’s taping of the show, I was able to identify why she and Iyanla were not as in depth and laughed a lot during the discussion on this topic…they too are fatherless daughters. In my opinion, Oprah’s dad appeared unattached and Iyanla’s was unavailable…according to the stories they’ve shared with us. They would have had to dig into their pain and reveal it on the show in order to really teach how to heal. And trust me when I say that daddy wounds are deep and painful wounds. But it’s when we show our wounds, acknowledge they exist, that we can really begin to heal them.
Again, I salute and love dearly these two women for having the conversation. Now we must start the movement towards healing. If you want to become a certified facilitator of The Fatherless Daughter Breakthrough System, or you simply want to heal your own daddy wounds, I want to invite you to join me on for my upcoming Fatherless Daughter Breakthrough Coaching Program. This program is also a pre-requisite for those who want to become a certified facilitator. I am offering this program at a huge savings, so you’d better hurry and register. I have limited seats available.
“Fatherless Daughters Group Coaching Program”, starting on July 22nd.