Your daughters are speaking to you in ways you don’t understand. Yet, they are speaking loud and clear. Oftentimes mothers will not acknowledge the truth about what’s happening to their daughters because they begin to see it as a personal failure on their part. In addition, many mothers haven’t dealt with their own daddy wounds and have pushed them so far down that they think they’ve don’t have these issues.
It takes me 5 minutes in a conversation and I can determine if you are a fatherless daughter because the patterns are so vivid. I receive emails, texts and phone calls from many young women, girls and teens who are hurting so badly on the inside. Many because of their fatherlessness. Just because you remarried and your husband is a great dad to your daughter, doesn’t mean she is not dealing with issues concerning her biological father. Just because your daughter’s father is in the home doesn’t mean, she’s getting exactly what she needs from him. A fatherless daughter is a female who grows up with an unattached, unavailable or absent father. The SHAME that comes along with fatherlessness is GREAT. And this issue is creating many social ills within every single community…regardless of economics, race or religion. This is NOT a black thing or a brown thing. Trust me. It’s a global thing.
We have been deceived in believing that if we ignore a thing long enough it will go away. Moms just because your daughter’s father hurt you and betrayed you, don’t allow your daughter to suffer because of it. Your harsh tone about her father is killing her inside. Your anger towards her father is chipping at her soul and it will show up in ways that will not serve her. I promise, if you don’t stop. I’m witnessing many young girls and even grown women who are afraid to come forward and say, YES, I have some unresolved daddy wounds. Yes, I’m hurting. They are afraid because they don’t want to hurt their mother or make the family look bad. We can’t keep these secrets. Secrets are toxic and they bring long term harm to everyone involved.
This is not about exposing anyone or blaming our men. That’s not what we do here in the Fatherless Daughter Network. It’s about the journey of love, acceptance and forgiveness. This is a deep, buried pain. I don’t care if you’re 5 or 55, it’s every female’s desire to be daddy’s little princess. The best of fathers miss it sometimes because they haven’t been taught our 4 P’s that every female needs from her father. I had one mother text me and say, “but my daughter knows her father.” As if she’s not a candidate for this event. I knew my father too, but I suffered greatly from my not realizing that I was living out the patterns of the fatherless daughter syndrome. What about those who father died. This creates another kind of pain and loss that creeps into your life. I am hosting a FREE event on Saturday for girls ages 12-19, their mothers and any other female who would like to know more about this issue that’s causing relationships to fail, creating depression/anger in our women/girls, rising levels of teen pregnancy, women being over driven by success, dis-ease in the body, broken relationships/marriages, and so much more.
Will we continue to ignore, or will we meet this head on? I wish I could say that my upcoming Fatherless Girls Summit event will be filled with fashion shows, make-overs and fun superficial games. Because it’s will not. But it will be filled with information to bring about awareness, interactive engaging activities that results in healing and transformation. It’s an event that every mother, every daughter, every leader who works with women and girls should attend. Leaders it’s time that we be who we say we are. It’s time that we let the tongue in our mouth match the tongue in our shoe. In other words, let our actions match our words. If women and girls are your focus, know that 2 our of 3 of them are fatherless and are perhaps dealing with this issue internally. It’s a hidden, muted, invisible pain that sneaks up on you. You don’t even know that it’s playing out in your own life, therefore, you can’t even see that it’s playing out in your daughter’s life.
I received a call from a man who lived in the home with his daughter and truly loves her very much. He’s a great provider, but after reading my books, attending my events, he told me that his daughter was a fatherless daughter and that he knew this. This acknowledgement of not fully showing up in his daughter’s life began a healing for them to truly begin to connect and form a deeper more meaningful relationship. He didn’t have the knowledge and the tools before. Now he does.
So I will close the very long and exhausting post by saying, it’s time to shatter the shame. You know that I’m speaking right to you. No this is not a business or money conference. We tend to flock to those. This is more important than business or making money. This is about our women and girls. We can’t sleep on this one. The cost is too high and we have too much to lose if we don’t address this huge issue that has gone under the radar too long.
It’s time to tell the truth to yourself about yourself. It doesn’t matter that you have to drive hours to get here, it’s worth it. It’s not just your daughter, but all of the daughters. Gather them and bring them. Even if you don’t have a daughter, bring someone and you come as well. We like to say the hustle is real. No this epidemic is real.
I know this is a strong message. I can be that way sometimes. I’m like nasty medicine sometimes. It don’t feel good going down, but man you will feel better in the morning.
But know that my heart is in the right place. I care enough to confront sometime. Are you a Fatherless Daughter? Is your daughter a Fatherless Daughter? There’s Danger in Not Knowing. Gather every female you know and join me Saturday, June 11th, 9am-3pm at The Springhill Suites Hotel, 511 Lady Street, Columbia, SC for an even that will transform and change lives. Perhaps your very own. Registration will close soon. It’s free, but you must register. www.fatherlessgirlssummit.com