I spent years immersed in spiritual studies, personal growth and development. I learned how to meditate for hours, how to breathe effectively, and trained under some of the best and most powerful teachers/coaches in the world. I have had an amazing career, working with for the Ed McMahan of the hit TV show Star Search, signed talent with Disney Channel, Disney Theatrics, Sony Records, LaFace Records, and more.
I’ve traveled the world, worked in Los Angeles and NYC producing shows sponsored by Tommy Hilfiger and other top sponsors. I’ve attended the Grammy’s as a VIP guest with all the stars/celebrities, attended the hottest hollywood parties and scenes.
I’ve lived in the best 5 star hotels, traveled in the big cities in limos and dined at some of the best restaurants in the world. I currently have friends who are award winning directors, producers behind some of the top shows on television that many of you are watching right now. I’ve partnered with big national sponsors such as Revlon, McDonald’s, The Kellogg’s Foundation and more. I launched tours across the nation, I have advocates and network directors in 6 different countries.
I’ve written and published 8 books and two coloring books for grown ups, produced a documentary film, and I am currently in pre-production with another film through my new media company. I’ve hosted a weekly podcast since 2009, co-host a local television show for 4 years, and shot a pilot of my own national talk show.
I’ve literally helped thousands of women and men achieve personal power in their lives for over 3 decades. I continue to coach tons of celebrities and high profile movers and shakers and I’ve written and produced a live teleconference with the #1 motivational speaker in the world, Les Brown.
I’m married to a wonderful and loving man and together we have 5 great children (not always perfect…lol) but simply amazing and six very perfect grandchildren. As a blended family, we’ve been successful with making us all feel like one big loving family.
I live a really good life, never having to worry about essential needs and a lot of wants.
If you thought I was bragging…I was NOT. While all of what I said was true. Here’s the not so pretty truth.
I survived an aneurysm and had brain surgery as a young girl. I walked away, unharmed, from an accident with an 18 wheeler on the interstate and from an ex-husband who was waiting for me with his gun to take us both out.
I’ve survived being alone with my children as a divorced single mother and had no money, no food, no transportation and no lights.
I’ve been lied about and betrayed by so call friends. I’ve been cheated and stolen from and even thrown under the bus by many.
I too have made some bad business deals and decisions. I’ve loss friends who I failed be there for. I made lots of mistakes trying to raise my kids as single depressed mother. I’ve had my feelings hurt and I’ve hurt feelings too. I’ve missed deadlines, didn’t deliver on promises, let myself and others down. I’ve been financially broke and emotionally broken.
And the past 10 months have been some of the worst times of my life. I loss my best friends, my mother and my brother and a loving sister in law. My 2.5 year old granddaughter was diagnosed with cancer and I was placed in the hospital for 4 days.
I could have never predicted this life of mine or the last few months. I could have never comprehended this kind of PAIN!
But as I began to dig deeper, I came face to face with the fact that life is about set backs, losses, painful wake up calls and unwelcome circumstances that don’t look like the life we wanted. I was left shaken, disoriented and desperate for answers to the inescapable, inevitable part of being human.
As I began to reflect upon the many turns in my life over the years, I had to ask myself if this was what I’d hoped for at this time and age? My answer was “no.”
I couldn’t pretend that where I was, was where I wanted to be. I was tired…no I was exhausted trying to hold it all together. The truth is, I had so many more dreams and so much more that I wanted to do and be. I came face to face with the truth. I was in a space that I no longer loved or wanted.
I Had to Dig Deeper!
So as I began to dig deeper, process that started almost a year ago, I discovered something so very profound. I discovered that I was living someone else’s idea of the life I was suppose to live. Was this what I wanted for my life? Is this the road that was carved out for me? I realized that what was once certain…was no longer. That all of a sudden I looked up and things had changed.
I went even deeper and realized that if I held so tight to the road I was on, to the map that I had…that when the new road appeared, I would miss it. So, except for my mastermind clients, I have not spoken to an audience since October 2017 and I will not until October 2018. Until recently, I stopped writing and working projects and ideas. I stop taking on new coaching clients outside of my mastermind clients.
I asked so many questions of myself. Who was I without my successes? Who was I without having to inspire, empower or have answers for others? Who was I without the titles, the achievements, the association with big names? Who was I? Was I willing to be “Nobody” for a while in order to awaken to my truth. My answer was, “YES!” I learned that I didn’t need to be in a hurry to win anything. I was not trying to be famous or take my brand to a new level. I simply wanted to “BE.” To Do Less and Be More.
I Needed More Meaning!
I craved more meaning, more richness, more fulfillment in every waking moment. I wanted more enjoyment. I didn’t want to wake up with an agenda so rigid, so tight, so full that it didn’t include me and my deepest desire. I wanted to stay in bed all day if I chose to. I wanted to play with my dog Cody and watch the birds outside. I wanted to jump in the car with my husband and take a last minute road trip. I wanted to sit down with my husband and plan out some exciting vacations and remodeling ideas for the house.
I wanted to sit on the floor with my grand babies and play with their toys without worry about doing a conference call. I wanted to color with them, eat ice cream and jump up and down. I wanted share meaningful conversations with my kids, my friends and my husband. I wanted to park under a shade tree with my husband, drink coffee and just talk, which we did just recently. It was so wonderful.
I reexamined everything in my life and I began traveling down a road for which I had no map. An invisible road. And what I thought was a crisis…a time of great pain, sorrow has now become something else. It has become a doorway, a rebirthing…an awakening.
There comes a time in your life where you can no longer pretend that it’s working and it’s perfect when you know it isn’t. Even if it’s not all that bad. You can’t be so attached to the road that you’re on, to the itinerary that you’ve mapped out, that when the new road appears, you miss it.
I almost missed it. I had to let go of what I’d hope would be. I had to mourn the loss of how I had imagined things would be. I was not mourning what I loss, but what could have been and should have been. In doing so, I discovered so much more of what is.
I’ve been sharing this new mindset with many women and they too are starting sense these feelings. Tired of the old road and old maps. They are sensing something starting to rise within them. It’s so subtle that they don’t have a name for it. They are stuck between the known and the unknown. But they realize that they can’t ignore it any longer.
A Life Reimagined!
Once I stopped everything, became “nobody” for a while and let go, it became apparent that what was waiting for me was more than I could imagine. It was my Awakened Life…a Life Reimagined.
The freedom, joy and love that comes with this life is simply amazing. You see, I wanted to make a greater impact in the lives of others…but I also wanted to experience a greater impact in my own life.
I wanted a richer, more fuller life. I still wanted to be in inspiration to others…but I also needed my own little dose of inspiration for myself. My work is more meaningful and so much more effective now. I’m not chasing dreams…actually dreams are now chasing me. Opportunities I never imagined possible cross my desk daily. Some I say yes and many I say no to.
I now color outside of the lines. I don’t always iron that shirt that I want to wear. I just put it on. I don’t work long hours or rush to post on social media. I spend time doing what I want with who I want and how long I want.
I accept others as they are and I’m more allowing of them to be their truest selves. I speak my truth in love. I say “no’ when I don’t want to do something and I say “yes” when I do. I don’t answer the phone all the time. I’m more spontaneous and I am very flexible. I focus more on growing myself than I do my business.
The funny thing is…my business is growing so rapidly that I’m turning down more than I accept.
I stop what I’m doing when my family comes over, unannounced, because I treasure every moment with them. I try to make each moment rich, memorable and loving.
I am not sure where this road will lead me. But one thing for sure, I just know that I’m coming into my Wisdom Time. I call myself a wise, witty and warm woman. I’m still doing my assignment in the world. Just in a more meaningful and purposeful way. Heart by heart, moment by moment, love by love. I’ve also learned that in doing so, I can’t bypass “Me.” I’m on this invisible road and I’m going to enjoy every part of the journey. I am willing to take more women with me on this journey. Just let me know if you’re ready to ride.