I woke up this morning with the reality that my dear beloved late mother will not be at the Thanksgiving Dinner table today. The reality is that she will not cook her delicious mac and cheese, and dressing that she’s famous for. I won’t see her big smile and excitement because we are all at the table.
On the family text last night, everyone was writing what they were bringing and I was reading all the happy comments about how yummy the food was going to be. I even got a little angry because I thought to myself, “How dare we go on as usual without my mom?”
I was dreading going to the family dinner at her house, because I knew it was going to be different. Everything within me wanted to remain in bed, curled in a fetal position, feeling sorry for myself.
Then it hit me. Today is Thanksgiving here in the US. There has been so many different meanings attributed to this day. There are even some who don’t recognize it at all.
Yet, Thanksgiving has always been a huge deal in our family. You had to be really really sick or have some good reason why you didn’t show up for Thanksgiving in our family. Mama made sure you knew this. My mother has always instilled in us to be thankful, everyday, in all things. Not FOR ALL things, but IN ALL things. She drilled this in us. Oftentimes, she would just belt out a “Thank You Lord!” Just out of no where you would hear her shout that phrase…in the mall shopping, watching TV, cooking in the kitchen. She was simply grateful and thankful in all things.
So I decided instead of feeling sorry for myself, that I would be thankful. The question becomes, “How do you be thankful when everything within simply wants to cry? You do as I did, you pray and meditate. This creates the inner shifting. When the shift happens, you are able to look for the blessings and the lessons in whatever you’re going through.
As I sat there and began to reflect upon my life with my mother, I could feel joy begin to fill my heart and a smile slip on my face. Even as I write this blog, I can see her smile as she puts the finishing touches on her mac and cheese. I can see her unconditional and unwavering love for her family. Oh we meant everything to her and she meant everything to us.
The blessings and the lessons are many. Too many to share with you today. But I cherish everyone of them.
Today, mama will not be at Thanksgiving Dinner Table with me. But I carry her and the memories in my heart today and everyday that follows.
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