Over recent years, much has been written, talked about and emerged to empower and uplift women and girls. There’s been a recent surge of women empowerment movements, women’s conferences, summits, workshops, books on women issues, television shows, magazines and several roundtable discussions.
Yet, women and girls still lead when it comes to poverty and wage inequality. We are still being victims of sexual assaults/rape in large numbers, we are now victims of human trafficking and child marriages at an alarming rate. Our true Voices are being drowned out by the portrayal, or shall I say betrayal, of us as angry, sexual animalistic creatures in the media and television. There’s still subtle issues of sexual harassment in the workplace and we are now even waging war against each other.
But only when we are strong together can we truly make change and transformation. As a woman who is committed to seeing women awaken to in their truth and unleash their greatest potential to shine in the world, I also understand that I had to first unearth the real forces that created these issues in the first place.
In my attempt to uncover the real core reasons why women and girls still seem to struggle with unplanned pregnancy, low-self esteem, high school and college drop-out, poverty, divorce, sexually promiscuous behaviors and go through life having problems creating good balance in their lives, I discovered that all roads lead back to their father-daughter relationship.
As you just read that statement, it may have caused a little tingle within you. Especially if you are a father. But stay with me and hear me out.
Numerous research and studies support this conclusion that there are many negative consequences and impact on a female’s life, who grows up with an absent, unavailable or unattached father. So why is it that so many women who lead, empower and uplift women and girls refuse to go deeper into this issue of father-daughter relationship, when studies prove that much of our demise comes from this very issue?
I believe it comes down to 2 things:
1. In oder to address this huge problem, one would have to look deeper into her own unhealed or unrecognized father-daughter wounds and muted hidden pains. This can be a daunting journey. Trust me, I know first hand.
2. It would ignite a fury of men who assume that you are blaming, pointing the finger and using them as an excuse for our failures in life. Or as one writer put it, “we are trying to overthrow the patriarchy.” And many women leaders simply don’t want to stir the pot. They simply want to play nice.
Yet, will we never create permanent, lasting, real, authentic transformation and change in the lives of women and girls if we don’t deal with the real core reasons we are in this state in the first place?
A female gets her identity from her father. Our identity shapes who we are. Your identity drives your life. Our thoughts, words and behavior will always be consistent with our identity or who we think we are. If that identity has been tainted or disturbed in any manner, your life will be also.
So, this leaves me with questions. How do we empower women and girls, address their issues, find solutions to their issues and still dance around the real culprit? How do we help them and yet, not address in depth their father-daughter relationships or their fatherlessness?
It’s just some questions to think about.
I would say to all of my beautiful sisters who are leading tribes of women, groups of women and girls, it’s time to go deeper. It’s time to stir the pot. It’s time to be uncomfortable and put on our work clothes.
Yes, women and girls need to learn how to be successful and earn more money. But we need to learn how to keep and maintain our success and money first. Because if we don’t deal with the reason WHY we lead the poverty levels, we will end up right back there.
Of course, we need to learn how to navigate through our love relationships, find our soul mates, stop falling in love with the wrong men and freely giving them our POV (precious omnipotent vaginas). But if we don’t deal with the core issue of why we keep ending up with the same kind of guy or break ups, our hearts will continue to be crushed over and over again.
We can’t keep trying to fix our issues with warm, gloss over solutions. Fixing our problems will be painful. There’s no getting around it. It will cost us something.
I must warn you that when you really decide to go deeper, to immerse into truth and begin to speak aloud the truth, you will stir the pot. You will ruffle some collars. You will cause some controversy. You will become a target. But if you look back at every single big movement that created real change and transformation, it came with a price. Martin Luther King Jr., Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Mother Teresa, and President Obama have all paid a huge price for change.
It may appear popular to taunt your beautiful business cards and have the grandest website and post your little cute graphics on social media. You may even become an Internet super star and have huge followers. You may become in demand for your lovely style and your winning smile. And while I wish you all much success in your endeavors, I have wonder is this what it really takes to make shake things up and make real change in the world for women and girls?
Are you willing to say the hard stuff? Are you willing to go where no one has gone before? Are you willing to navigate into uncharted territories with no safety net because you believe in your call, you assignment, you divine mission?
We can no longer play it safe and small. The cost is too high. Are you willing to go deeper into your own stuff, feel the pain, release the pain so you can be free to serve? What would it take for you to step out of your comfort zone, risk it all, go all in and make a real difference?
If you don’t know by now that it will take all of this and some, then you’ve been sleeping under a rock somewhere. It will take all of us uniting, synchronizing our visions, standing shoulder to shoulder and becoming one voice that speaks in many ways to usher in a new and brighter world.
I’m looking for the women who are ready to roll up their sleeves, get a little bruised and scratched from the hits you will receive for declaring the truth and yet are still willing to remain in the game until we win. I’m seeking women to stand with me on this journey of uncovering real solutions, not padded clichés, but radical truths that will set us all free.
Because at the looks of things, it’s not just an idea that we must consider. It’s a mandate that we must adhere to. Our very existence and future depends upon it.