Trying to find balance between family, work and outside activities can become stressful on a woman. And when this happens, we tend to become frustrated, tired and grumpy. We begin to say and do things that we know are not in alignment with who we really are.
I know this feeling oh so well and I too have found myself out of alignment with my truest self. I would get so overwhelmed, so out of balance, until I would want to just scream! And sometimes at others. After becoming tired of the up and down emotional roller coaster of being over whelmed, I had to find away to deal with my everyday life and not allow my schedule to change who I am.
I pride myself on running my business with systems. I had a mentor that would say to me, “good companies are people supported and great companies are system supported.” I found that once I implemented systems into my business, it took off and it became easy to operate without overwhelm. So I asked myself, “what if I did the same thing with my everyday life?”So I did and it has made the difference of being overwhelmed to being over joyed.
1. Pray and meditate first thing in the morning. I have learned that if I start my day with prayer and meditation, it sets the tone for the rest of my day. This daily ritual creates within me a state of being of love which causes me to remain in peace and relaxation. There’s value in prayer and meditation early in the mornings. It doesn’t necessarily change your day, but it does change you, how you deal with the day’s issues and your perspective about the issues.
2. Admit that you cannot do everything today and being willing to let somethings go. As women, we have this need to feel that we can fix and take care of everything and everyone. That just isn’t true. As a life coach, a wife, a mother, grandmother, daughter, sister and friend, I get calls and emails daily from people who have issues they feel need my immediate attention. I have learned over the years that there’s not one thing that cannot wait. How do I know this? Because if I was dead, all of these people would find an alternative solution to their problems, instead of me. That being said, I have moved away from the superwoman syndrome of trying to be everything to everyone.
While I do care and love these people, I also know that I am not the answer to their problems, God is…Love is. This new perspective has taken a load off of me. I understand that my purpose is the teach people how to take love and heal their lives. That’s it. Anything else is out of my lane. Whew, what a relief.
3. Implement a system for your daily activities. We often find ourselves working until late at night doing the laundry, washing dishes, preparing the house for the next day. Why not put the running of your house on a system? I only do heavy cleaning to my house every other Friday, which is when my cleaning lady came before I had to fire her. Since I have not found her replacement yet, I just keep that same cleaning schedule. In between, I make sure that Bill and I pick up as we go. Make the bed as soon as we get up, load the dish washer as soon as we eat. Do laundry on the same day each week, shop for groceries the same day every two weeks, gas the cars the same day each week and pay bills on an automatic system. Why am I telling you this? We created a system that makes running the home effortless and without overwhelm. Have a meeting with your family and share with them the new system that you want to implement. It will make your life a lot easier and leave more time for the things that matters most, which is spending time with each other.
4. Realize that you come first. We have been programmed to believe that when we put our families first, that is honorable. I have learned that when I put myself first, love myself, attend to my needs, put my mask on first, it gives me the fuel necessary to be there for others. If you have ever flown in an airplane, the stewardess gives you instructions before the flight takes off. One of the things she tells us is to put the oxygen mask on yourself first, then help your child. Why wouldn’t you help your child first? This would be a natural instinct for a mother. But if your oxygen is depleted, if you can’t breathe, how will you have enough strength to help anyone else? Giving to others from a full cup instead of an empty cup is what will keep you from being overwhelmed.
This was one of the most difficult things for others in my life to accept when I made this shift. My daughters would call me on a Saturday morning and want to hang out, go shopping and have lunch and when I would say “no”, they would freak out. They would ask what did I have to do and when I said nothing, they really had a problem. I would have nothing to do because I designed it that way. I learned that my every waking moment did not have to filled with something to do. I could at any moment have a do nothing day, even when my family wanted my attention. It was about me, “doing me first.” Once they embraced this new shift, things they began to value the time that we did spend together.
Being overwhelmed has been the number one reason why most women get depressed, sick and even overweight. It is because they have not implemented a system in their lives that will help to eliminate the stress that comes with being overwhelmed. I want to encourage you to create a system that will work for you and your life. Not only will your life begin to change, but so will the lives of those around you.
Remember, Live Authentically, Laugh Everyday and Embrace Love as a Lifestyle.
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