“I forgive me. Everything that I’ve been holding on, I let go. I surrender, I surrender. I’m ready for my change.“
When I first heard the song and the words, they touched me somewhere deep. I was reminded of when I first embarked upon the journey to transforming my life, I had to forgive myself. I’d done the work of forgiving my father for not being there for me. I’d forgiven my ex-husband for the things he did. Yet, I’d not forgiven myself.
Forgiven myself for that times that I felt less than, not good enough, even when God said that I was. Forgiven myself for not showing up more powerfully and bigger in my relationships, my marriage, my business and in the way I treated my health. Forgiven myself for allowing the opinions and dreams of others to influence my life and not trust myself to know what was burning deep inside my belly as truth. I had to forgive myself for not loving me enough to believe that I was worth it all. It was those areas in my life that I hadn’t recognized the truth of who I was.
I carried shame and guilt. I was ashamed of being labeled a divorced woman. I was ashamed because I didn’t complete my college degree. I was ashamed because I didn’t think that I was pretty enough, good enough, worthy enough. And I was ashamed that I was not good enough for my dad to love me. I carried the guilt of not being a good enough parent, not fighting hard enough for my first marriage and I held all these emotions deep within my body. As a result, my body responded in the way of several illnesses.
I sat down one day and poured my heart all out on paper. I realized that I’d been carrying so much guilt, shame and pain. I finally recognized that it was Angela who deserved the forgiveness. That day, I let it all go. I surrendered my fears to God because I was ready for a change. And change is what I have experienced. It didn’t come without some pain, some loss, and some work. Many people have not understood this change and others have rejected the change. Yet, still it was all worth it because I have awakened to the truth of who I am. I now live out my truth daily.
Today, I stand fearless, releasing my need to play it safe in the world, my need to hide and not show up as my dynamic powerful self. I no longer hide my brilliance for fear of losing anything or anyone.
Where have you not allowed yourself to be free? Do you need to forgive yourself? Are you ready for a change?
I want to share this very powerful and sacred video with you. I only ask that you get quiet, close your eyes and breathe, as you listen to the words. When you do, you will begin to move into a newer and higher version of yourself. Let go of what no longer serves you and get ready for your change.
I love you and I am here for you.
Watch the video…it will move you in the depth of your soul. https://youtu.be/DpCDc8OFkXc
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