What Are You Waiting On?

You know that it’s your time for you to step out and step up bigger. You have this dream that simply won’t go away.
Okay, maybe you’ve been playing at it somewhat. And you’ve experienced a little success with it.  Oh, alright…maybe you’ve had great success with it. But you know deep within that it’s time to play bigger. It’s time for you to LEAP!
It’s time to move in a direction that you don’t think you have the qualifications. Yet, the pressure is building because you sense it’s time to make a move and that’s exactly the direction you should go.
You’re in what I call, The Divine Ache™. The Divine Ache™ is a nagging feeling that set right in the middle of your stomach, around your navel area. It’s not necessarily a pain, but an ache. The ache symbolizes a new idea, a new vision or dream that is waiting and wanting to be birthed.  You know in order to give birth and get rid of the ache, you’ve got to make a move.
The thing is…this move will require that you walk away from somethings…and some people. YES! I said it. There are people in your life right now that you know you cannot take with you to that next level. I didn’t say they could never go…just NOT right now.
Because they can’t handle the level you are moving towards and taking them with you would abort the mission. It’s because their energy is just too heavy to go with you. But once you are there and your footings are sure…there will be some people (not all) that you can reach and bring there with you. Simply because you love them.
There are also other things you will need to walk away from. It could be your current position at work or a business that you’ve done for years. You keep feeling and sensing that this current  journey has completed itself and it’s time to move on. At least this level.
There’s a new, fresh and relevant idea that’s been trying to emerge from within you. Could it be that your dream is changing, expanding or moving in another direction?
Of course you’re thinking, “It can’t be because I’ve been told that what I am now doing is my God given purpose?”  So you think you can’t move away? Do you really believe that God can give you only ONE DREAM?  We’re talking about God, Right? Infinite Power. The Creator of the Universe. Right? Are you trying to put God in a Box? Surely not God.
The other reason you keep pushing this dream away is because what you are currently doing pays your bills. You are not willing to risk losing that income. Plus it’s what you are comfortable doing. It’s what you are good at doing and it’s what you’re known for. Why would you want to start over at this age and in this season of your life?
Maybe because it’s time. Perhaps because God can dream a bigger dream for you than you can for yourself. At least that’s what Oprah says and we all know she knows. LOL…just joking.
Seriously,  this is a new season for you and it requires a new level of trust, faith and courage. It’s uncomfortable and you are not good with feeling uncomfortable or unsure. However, when you are still and quiet, that idea, that new vision keeps resurfacing. When you really sit with and think about it, you can feel the fear, the joy and the peace all at the same time.

Yet, when you resist these thoughts and ideas, an underlying restlessness and discontent surfaces because you know as long as you ignore the Divine Ache™, you are compromising your own integrity and truth. Therefore, you are ready to give birth to that next level. You are ready to walk down that invisible road.

What are you waiting on? Go ahead, take you walk Awakened Beauty!

A Nasty Little Word Part 2

I hope you were able to answer the questions from Part 1 of this series. Understanding that Procrastination can keep you from living your dreams should be enough to motivate you to stop doing it. But often times it’s not.  Because until we find out the driving force behind why we procrastinate, we will continue on this up and down roller coaster.

Anthony Robbins says, “Every person on this earth is driven by two forces: Their need to avoid pain and their desire to gain pleasure.”  These two forces drive all human behavior.  So if everything we do in life is out of avoiding pain or gaining pleasure, which one motivates you?

I have another perspective. There are times when we don’t fear pain, but we fear pleasure. I realized that I was literally afraid of the pleasure.

Growing up as a fatherless daughter created enormous pain in my life. As crazy as it sounds, I had become comfortable in pain. It was the good times that I was afraid of because I didn’t believe it would last. Little did I know that this erroneous belief was causing me to delay much of my good in life through procrastination.

What I realized was I could not “will power” my way out of procrastination. And neither can you. You’ve got to get to the root cause of why you do it in the first place. Once you do this and learn the skills to heal it, transform it and transcend it, you will breakthrough it.

I want to share a four steps to help you on your way to getting that nasty little word in your life:

1. Identify what you are afraid of. Is it the need to avoid pain or is it the fear of pleasure?

2. Find out where this controlling belief was first received. I was able to retrace my belief from my fatherlessness experiences.

3. Dismantle the belief and create another one. There are many ways to let go or deconstruct a belief. I will share just one here. Affirmations are great ways to change an old belief and create a new one. Example: “I am worthy of living my dream and I no longer delay my good.”

4. Find an accountability Partner. Breaking through procrastination can be challenging and I don’t recommend you doing it alone. Find a coach or mentor  who will hold you accountable for what you say you’re going to do.

You deserve to live your dreams. Never allow the fear of pain to keep you from doing anything. Because pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is choice. Pain is a part of the human journey. But you can move through pain and not allow it to prevent you from living your dreams though procrastination.

The pleasure that comes from taking action will far out weigh any pain you’ve avoided. Get accustom  to the pleasures of life. Because when you finally remove that nasty little word from your life, pleasure becomes inevitable.

Stop and Do It Now

Over the years, I’ve met so many people who are stuck and wondering when is my big break coming? When will I get that one phone call that takes me to my next level of greatness? While you recognize that you are perhaps already doing great work, you also sense that there’s yet another level you must go. So what’s the problem?

 

The problem is that we allow our defenses, excuses and justifiers to show up and get the best of us. I hear and see them all the time. They show up like this: “It won’t work, I’ve done it before and it didn’t work before, God wants me to go in another direction, I have no money, I can’t right now, been there, done that, can’t afford it, family comes first, not my time, my kids need me, my husband said no, I can do this myself, I don’t need any help, I don’t know enough, I have no time, they just want my money….and so much more.

 

 

Here’s the big one: “Let me pray about it?” Every time I hear that one, I wonder to myself, “Well, didn’t you pray about it before you called me?” LOL. Do you see yourself in any of the above? At some point, we’ve got to get rid of the excuses and justifiers. They keep us safe and they keep us comfortable. What automatic excuses do you have imprinted in your mind? What excuses justify your limitation?

 

I’m just asking because when I once used these justifiers, no one could tell me that I was wrong. And that’s the biggest clue that you are stuck in the limitation of excuses and justifiers. When everyone is wrong and you’re right. I even became resentful and angry at times when someone tried to talk me through my defenses. I simply thought they were not hearing me. But they were hearing…my excuses. We become our biggest enemy by justifying our own limitation.

 

 

At what point do give yourself permission to you say, “I’m going for it?” To ask yourself: “What am I afraid will happen if I really go for it?”
It’s a question that I had to ask myself and it was a question that I had to answer. My answers were all filled with Excuses and Justifiers. As I worked with my coach, over the years, to kick those excuses in the butt and flushed them out, I was able to move to my next level of infinite possibilities. And while I don’t always share the big business deals that I get to do, I am so grateful for this life I get to experience. The Awakened Life. I didn’t say by transformation was easy, but it was simple.

 

Oh yes, there were times that I resisted, yet my coach was there to help me overcome my fears and keep me from stalling. Do you find yourself stalling? I did for lengths of time and time wasted that I couldn’t get back.
I stalled by updating my website or re-creating a brochure or all of sudden I needed to clean out a closet or paint a room. Stalling can deceive you because it makes you believe and feel like you’re being productive or doing the right thing. But what’s really happening is that you are hiding because of your deep hidden undiscovered fears.

 

Notice a pattern here. When an opportunity comes your ways, so does a crisis. And then all of a sudden, you forgo or forget the opportunity to attend to the crisis. You’re so exhausted and wiped out emotionally, physically or even financially from the crisis that the opportunity is no longer appealing to you anymore. It’s call sabotage. Your internal fears sabotaged your opportunity. It’s designed that way to keep you in the same space. But you don’t have to continue to live that life. You can overcome and breakthrough these patterns of beliefs that keep you on the up and down roller coaster of success. Just because you’ve experienced a level of success, does not mean that you’ve achieved the level that is destined for you. Never stop short of your fullness.
At some point, you’ve got to go for it or leave it alone. There’s no middle ground. It’s time to take a deeper look into the patterns you’ve been living out in the personal and professional areas of your life. Then you’ve got to make a choice. A choice to keep doing what you’re doing or a choice to make a bold move and do something radically different to create a radically new and different result. If you are not willing to do this, you are simply not ready.

 

 

But if you are willing and ready to make a bold move and harness your untapped power and activate your potential…then do something NOW to anchor your decision. Don’t wait. Do it now. Make that phone call, send that email, enroll in that program, hire that coach, ask for what you want and live in your truth. Whatever action you need to take immediately to align with your decision, do it now. Stop reading…do it now.

It Will Take All of Us

invitationOftentimes, I am confronted with negative comments about the work that I do. I have even received threats such as “You think what you are doing is changing the world, but I’m evil and I will kill you.” When I read this, I had to shake my head. This is just a sample of what can happen when you step up to do what you’ve been assigned to do on the planet. You risk being ridiculed, you risk being betrayed, you risk being criticized, you risk being mis-understood, you risk being hated and disliked, you risk being lied about, and you risk being talked about. It’s all apart of the journey. But your commitment to the work you’ve been called to do has to be bigger than the criticism of a few. I am no victim and I don’t claim that space. Because victimhood renders us powerless. We’ve got to believe in the importance of what we are doing in the absence that it is making a difference.

Let’s face it! Humanity needs a shift. We are in need of a radical new direction and paradigm. It will take the efforts of all of us to do our part. It’s been said that we need many people to do grassroots great work until a tipping point is reached. Meaning what was once not done, unthinkable will become acceptable as a new reality. But before an idea can become accepted, individuals have to commit themselves to do something they feel called to do. We all have a purpose and a vision for our lives. It may take many turns, stops and detours on this journey for you to finally arrive to that space where you believe you should be. No one can tell you what that looks like for you. But what I know for sure is that never in recorded human history has the state of the human species been at grave risk than right now.

We must set aside our differences, our debates, our own agendas and find ways to come together to find solutions. We have big issues and it will take everyone of us to turn this ship around or we will head towards the iceberg. This is about a need for us to participate in the peace making change and transformation at every level. And when we do, we can make a huge difference in the world. Yet, we will never be able to make change and transformation in the world until each of us start within our own hearts. It’s not our heads that will change the world, it’s our hearts.

Stepping up to do something in the world, in your community, or in your neighborhood will cost you something. Your feelings will get hurt. Trust me they will. You will get tired and want to quit. When that happens just lean on your supporting cast and they will remind you of why you do what you do. It will take money, action and an unselfish desire to see change. I see so many of you with this desire. I watch many of you on the front line and you take a whole lot of hits. Know that I pray for you regularly. I know you need help. I understand the journey.

And we can do this through the power of 3 to the 19th power. I didn’t create this idea, but the math is accurate. Here’s how it works: If 3 people would heed this message and they tell 3 other people, we would have 9. If each of them then spread the world to 3 others, there would be 27. If each of these 27 passed along to 3 of their friends, there would be 81. If these 81 persons talked to 3 others in just 4 steps there would be 234. In 19 steps of 3 to the 19th power, this idea would reach over a billion people, 1,162,261,467!

This is how geometrical progression works. This is how a virus spread and becomes and epidemic. This is how the message of LOVE, UNITY, and PEACE can become an epidemic. I’m not talking some woo woo, pollyanna stuff. I’m talking a real plan with implementable strategies and committed hearts that we can do this.

But it will take all of us. It will take all of us willing to unite our differences, synchronize our dreams, collaborate our ideas, and not worry about who gets the credit, moving away from what’s in it for me mentality, or the zero sum mentality of “if you win, I lose.”

There has to be a new kind of commitment to making this world a better place for generations to come. It will take all of us. Just imagine what we could do together? We are so much stronger, when we are together. How can I support you? I’m here for you.

Come Out of the Dark Shadow

1da17c58d7fe40909c612750ab3085d1I hope you having a wonderful day today. It’s such a beautiful day here in SC. The sun is shining and I am loving this nice Spring day. I wanted  so badly to share with you how beautiful today is here in SC,  that I ran downstairs from my home office and took a picture from my front porch.
As I looked at the picture, I noticed the sun shining in the yard, but the dark shadow on my front porch from where I took the photo. I couldn’t help but wonder about how life can sometimes show up just this way.
It appears that the sun is always shining somewhere out there, but often times we are somehow caught standing in the shadow of darkness. Yet, we don’t have to settle for life this way. When this happens, it’s an indication that something needs to change.  Most often it’s our perspective or position.
​​​​​​​I don’t know what kind of day you are having today. It could be another one of those dark shadow days. And if it happens to be a dark shadow day for you, I want to encourage you to change your perspective. The sun is still shining whether you can feel it or not. If that perspective doesn’t work, simply change your position.  Step out of the dark shadow into the sunshine where you belong!
Here’s to living The Awakened Life Journey. A Journey filled with love, abundance and success! It’s a Journey worth taking!

I Want to, But I can’t.

DiwaliBuffetI realize the Super Bowl is a big event. But I can’t help but get a little confused at how folks get so turned up about a ball game in the midst of all that’s happening around us. I get a little confused when I see how much money is spent on this one game. Yet, folks in Flint just want clean water for their kids.

I see the excitement and the many social media posts about “Bey” and her performance and how she “slayed” it, yet every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted and beaten in this country and I want to see as much uproar about this as I do about a dance.

Oh, how I wish I could get this kind of excitement and passion for the social ills that are created in the lives of women and girls due to fatherlessness.  I wish I could get women to stand with me and lead Fatherless Daughters Chapters across the world in order to heal the hearts of women and girls. But I can’t compete with all of the noise about a football game or a concert.

I loved seeing all of the beautiful new team outfits you purchased, the food, drinks and the parties you attended. They looked like so much fun. Yet, I’m sure you are aware that one out three kids will go to bed tonight without a father there to make them feel safe. The result is trauma that follows them into adulthood, broken marriages, teen pregnancies, prisons, and etc.

I don’t mean to be the fun police. I simply would like to know what will it take for us to get as excited and turned up for the change that needs to happen in our homes, communities, schools, workplaces and country? What will it take folks? I really want to know.

While I want to celebrate with you. I can’t right now. I wish I could do the “Dab’ with you. But I can’t right now. Why? Because I have work to do. I have to keep fighting for ways to create a better world for those grand babies of mine….and yours.

Oh, how I want to play and be apart of something as great as the Super Bowl. But I’d rather use a big platform like that to share hope for the future. I want to play when I have to work too. I do get to play sometimes. But Lord I want to play more.

Yet,  I can’t play until more of my brothers and sisters join me on this mission for change. You see, just like Gideon, WE can’t come off this wall. Gideon said in Nehemiah 6: “I’m doing a great work; I can’t come down.

What about you? Are you doing great work? Are you truly ready to be the change you wish to see in the world? In the book of Ecclesiastes, it says, “To Everything There is a Season.”

Our season has come to make a difference in the world. Let’s get it done…so we can all PLAY BIGGER!