I hope you were able to answer the questions from Part 1 of this series. Understanding that Procrastination can keep you from living your dreams should be enough to motivate you to stop doing it. But often times it’s not. Because until we find out the driving force behind why we procrastinate, we will continue on this up and down roller coaster.
Anthony Robbins says, “Every person on this earth is driven by two forces: Their need to avoid pain and their desire to gain pleasure.” These two forces drive all human behavior. So if everything we do in life is out of avoiding pain or gaining pleasure, which one motivates you?
I have another perspective. There are times when we don’t fear pain, but we fear pleasure. I realized that I was literally afraid of the pleasure.
Growing up as a fatherless daughter created enormous pain in my life. As crazy as it sounds, I had become comfortable in pain. It was the good times that I was afraid of because I didn’t believe it would last. Little did I know that this erroneous belief was causing me to delay much of my good in life through procrastination.
What I realized was I could not “will power” my way out of procrastination. And neither can you. You’ve got to get to the root cause of why you do it in the first place. Once you do this and learn the skills to heal it, transform it and transcend it, you will breakthrough it.
I want to share a four steps to help you on your way to getting that nasty little word in your life:
1. Identify what you are afraid of. Is it the need to avoid pain or is it the fear of pleasure?
2. Find out where this controlling belief was first received. I was able to retrace my belief from my fatherlessness experiences.
3. Dismantle the belief and create another one. There are many ways to let go or deconstruct a belief. I will share just one here. Affirmations are great ways to change an old belief and create a new one. Example: “I am worthy of living my dream and I no longer delay my good.”
4. Find an accountability Partner. Breaking through procrastination can be challenging and I don’t recommend you doing it alone. Find a coach or mentor who will hold you accountable for what you say you’re going to do.
You deserve to live your dreams. Never allow the fear of pain to keep you from doing anything. Because pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is choice. Pain is a part of the human journey. But you can move through pain and not allow it to prevent you from living your dreams though procrastination.
The pleasure that comes from taking action will far out weigh any pain you’ve avoided. Get accustom to the pleasures of life. Because when you finally remove that nasty little word from your life, pleasure becomes inevitable.
Oftentimes, I am confronted with negative comments about the work that I do. I have even received threats such as “You think what you are doing is changing the world, but I’m evil and I will kill you.” When I read this, I had to shake my head. This is just a sample of what can happen when you step up to do what you’ve been assigned to do on the planet. You risk being ridiculed, you risk being betrayed, you risk being criticized, you risk being mis-understood, you risk being hated and disliked, you risk being lied about, and you risk being talked about. It’s all apart of the journey. But your commitment to the work you’ve been called to do has to be bigger than the criticism of a few. I am no victim and I don’t claim that space. Because victimhood renders us powerless. We’ve got to believe in the importance of what we are doing in the absence that it is making a difference.
Let’s face it! Humanity needs a shift. We are in need of a radical new direction and paradigm. It will take the efforts of all of us to do our part. It’s been said that we need many people to do grassroots great work until a tipping point is reached. Meaning what was once not done, unthinkable will become acceptable as a new reality. But before an idea can become accepted, individuals have to commit themselves to do something they feel called to do. We all have a purpose and a vision for our lives. It may take many turns, stops and detours on this journey for you to finally arrive to that space where you believe you should be. No one can tell you what that looks like for you. But what I know for sure is that never in recorded human history has the state of the human species been at grave risk than right now.
We must set aside our differences, our debates, our own agendas and find ways to come together to find solutions. We have big issues and it will take everyone of us to turn this ship around or we will head towards the iceberg. This is about a need for us to participate in the peace making change and transformation at every level. And when we do, we can make a huge difference in the world. Yet, we will never be able to make change and transformation in the world until each of us start within our own hearts. It’s not our heads that will change the world, it’s our hearts.
Stepping up to do something in the world, in your community, or in your neighborhood will cost you something. Your feelings will get hurt. Trust me they will. You will get tired and want to quit. When that happens just lean on your supporting cast and they will remind you of why you do what you do. It will take money, action and an unselfish desire to see change. I see so many of you with this desire. I watch many of you on the front line and you take a whole lot of hits. Know that I pray for you regularly. I know you need help. I understand the journey.
And we can do this through the power of 3 to the 19th power. I didn’t create this idea, but the math is accurate. Here’s how it works: If 3 people would heed this message and they tell 3 other people, we would have 9. If each of them then spread the world to 3 others, there would be 27. If each of these 27 passed along to 3 of their friends, there would be 81. If these 81 persons talked to 3 others in just 4 steps there would be 234. In 19 steps of 3 to the 19th power, this idea would reach over a billion people, 1,162,261,467!
This is how geometrical progression works. This is how a virus spread and becomes and epidemic. This is how the message of LOVE, UNITY, and PEACE can become an epidemic. I’m not talking some woo woo, pollyanna stuff. I’m talking a real plan with implementable strategies and committed hearts that we can do this.
But it will take all of us. It will take all of us willing to unite our differences, synchronize our dreams, collaborate our ideas, and not worry about who gets the credit, moving away from what’s in it for me mentality, or the zero sum mentality of “if you win, I lose.”
There has to be a new kind of commitment to making this world a better place for generations to come. It will take all of us. Just imagine what we could do together? We are so much stronger, when we are together. How can I support you? I’m here for you.
I realize the Super Bowl is a big event. But I can’t help but get a little confused at how folks get so turned up about a ball game in the midst of all that’s happening around us. I get a little confused when I see how much money is spent on this one game. Yet, folks in Flint just want clean water for their kids.
I see the excitement and the many social media posts about “Bey” and her performance and how she “slayed” it, yet every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted and beaten in this country and I want to see as much uproar about this as I do about a dance.
Oh, how I wish I could get this kind of excitement and passion for the social ills that are created in the lives of women and girls due to fatherlessness. I wish I could get women to stand with me and lead Fatherless Daughters Chapters across the world in order to heal the hearts of women and girls. But I can’t compete with all of the noise about a football game or a concert.
I loved seeing all of the beautiful new team outfits you purchased, the food, drinks and the parties you attended. They looked like so much fun. Yet, I’m sure you are aware that one out three kids will go to bed tonight without a father there to make them feel safe. The result is trauma that follows them into adulthood, broken marriages, teen pregnancies, prisons, and etc.
I don’t mean to be the fun police. I simply would like to know what will it take for us to get as excited and turned up for the change that needs to happen in our homes, communities, schools, workplaces and country? What will it take folks? I really want to know.
While I want to celebrate with you. I can’t right now. I wish I could do the “Dab’ with you. But I can’t right now. Why? Because I have work to do. I have to keep fighting for ways to create a better world for those grand babies of mine….and yours.
Oh, how I want to play and be apart of something as great as the Super Bowl. But I’d rather use a big platform like that to share hope for the future. I want to play when I have to work too. I do get to play sometimes. But Lord I want to play more.
Yet, I can’t play until more of my brothers and sisters join me on this mission for change. You see, just like Gideon, WE can’t come off this wall. Gideon said in Nehemiah 6: “I’m doing a great work; I can’t come down.”
What about you? Are you doing great work? Are you truly ready to be the change you wish to see in the world? In the book of Ecclesiastes, it says, “To Everything There is a Season.”
Our season has come to make a difference in the world. Let’s get it done…so we can all PLAY BIGGER!