You Meant for So Much More

I was watching a movie clip from the movie Samson, where his mother and father were reminding him of his calling. His father said, “Samson, you were called by God, gifted with His power to deliver His people.” His father further said, “It is His will.” Samson replied, “But it’s not mine.” His mother chimed in and said, “Samson, you’re not like the other Hebrews, you’re meant for so much more.  You must not forget who you are.”

How many times do we forget who we are and what we have been called to do because we’d rather do something more desiring to us? Oftentimes, we feel defeated because we see so many other people winning when we seem to be failing. We get tired and want to give up or do something different.

 

As fatherless daughters, we sometimes forget who we are because our identify was supposed to be connected to our father-daughter relationship. Yet, when that relationship is flawed or non-existent, we must find our identity in something greater than ourselves…retrace our lives beyond our mother’s wound…to God.

 

 

When you KNOW who you are and that you are living your purpose, you must stay the course. Even when there is no evidence that what you are doing is working, still stay the course. What God has ordained, God will sustain.

A Nasty Little Word Part 2

I hope you were able to answer the questions from Part 1 of this series. Understanding that Procrastination can keep you from living your dreams should be enough to motivate you to stop doing it. But often times it’s not.  Because until we find out the driving force behind why we procrastinate, we will continue on this up and down roller coaster.

Anthony Robbins says, “Every person on this earth is driven by two forces: Their need to avoid pain and their desire to gain pleasure.”  These two forces drive all human behavior.  So if everything we do in life is out of avoiding pain or gaining pleasure, which one motivates you?

I have another perspective. There are times when we don’t fear pain, but we fear pleasure. I realized that I was literally afraid of the pleasure.

Growing up as a fatherless daughter created enormous pain in my life. As crazy as it sounds, I had become comfortable in pain. It was the good times that I was afraid of because I didn’t believe it would last. Little did I know that this erroneous belief was causing me to delay much of my good in life through procrastination.

What I realized was I could not “will power” my way out of procrastination. And neither can you. You’ve got to get to the root cause of why you do it in the first place. Once you do this and learn the skills to heal it, transform it and transcend it, you will breakthrough it.

I want to share a four steps to help you on your way to getting that nasty little word in your life:

1. Identify what you are afraid of. Is it the need to avoid pain or is it the fear of pleasure?

2. Find out where this controlling belief was first received. I was able to retrace my belief from my fatherlessness experiences.

3. Dismantle the belief and create another one. There are many ways to let go or deconstruct a belief. I will share just one here. Affirmations are great ways to change an old belief and create a new one. Example: “I am worthy of living my dream and I no longer delay my good.”

4. Find an accountability Partner. Breaking through procrastination can be challenging and I don’t recommend you doing it alone. Find a coach or mentor  who will hold you accountable for what you say you’re going to do.

You deserve to live your dreams. Never allow the fear of pain to keep you from doing anything. Because pain is inevitable in life, but suffering is choice. Pain is a part of the human journey. But you can move through pain and not allow it to prevent you from living your dreams though procrastination.

The pleasure that comes from taking action will far out weigh any pain you’ve avoided. Get accustom  to the pleasures of life. Because when you finally remove that nasty little word from your life, pleasure becomes inevitable.

Finding Courage and Hope

It was cold and raining the other day and I had some errands to run. Because I simply didn’t want to endure the cold and the rain, I let the errands go until another time. How often do we put off things that we need to do because it’s uncomfortable for us?

Is there something in your life that you know you need to do, but you just don’t want to go through the “whatever it takes” process needed to get the desired results?

Sometimes I wish I could just wiggle my nose like Samantha from the television series “Bewitched.” If you know what I mean?

You need courage to take action even when you don’t want to. Courage means “of the heart.”

We women know how to live from…our hearts. I believe as we become courageous we can continue to hope.

A french proverb states, “Hope is the dream of a soul awake.” Hope fills life with meaning by creating attainable goals congruent with reality. Sometimes hope might need to be redefined.

Maybe your marriage has ended in a divorce or you lost your job recently.

The hope once held by you as a couple or an employee will need to be evaluated as you redefine yourself as a single woman and perhaps an entreprenuer instead of an employee.

Attainable hope could mean deepening your relationship with God, reconciling the past with forgiveness, re-inventing your work skills and connecting with whatever brings you joy.

Hope and courage does not need to be difficult. They can be as simple as seeing the sunrise and welcoming a new day….even if it is cold and rainy outside. This is The Awakened Life.

 

My Mom Will Be Missing From Thanksgiving Dinner Today!

I woke up this morning with the reality that my dear beloved late mother will not be at the Thanksgiving Dinner table today. The reality is that she will not cook her delicious mac and cheese, and dressing that she’s famous for. I won’t see her big smile and excitement because we are all at the table.

 

On the family text last night, everyone was writing what they were bringing and I was reading all the happy comments about how yummy the food was going to be. I even got a little angry because I thought to myself, “How dare we go on as usual without my mom?”

 

I was dreading going to the family dinner at her house, because I knew it was going to be different. Everything within me wanted to remain in bed, curled in a fetal position, feeling sorry for myself.

Then it hit me. Today is Thanksgiving here in the US. There has been so many different meanings attributed to this day. There are even some who don’t recognize it at all.

 

Yet, Thanksgiving has always been a huge deal in our family. You had to be really really sick or have some good reason why you didn’t show up for Thanksgiving in our family. Mama made sure you knew this. My mother has always instilled in us to be thankful, everyday, in all things. Not FOR ALL things, but IN ALL things. She drilled this in us. Oftentimes, she would just belt out a “Thank You Lord!” Just out of no where you would hear her shout that phrase…in the mall shopping, watching TV, cooking in the kitchen. She was simply grateful and thankful in all things.

 

So I decided instead of feeling sorry for myself, that I would be thankful. The question becomes, “How do you be thankful when everything within simply wants to cry? You do as I did, you pray and meditate. This creates the inner shifting. When the shift happens,  you are able to look for the blessings and the lessons in whatever you’re going through.
As I sat there and began to reflect upon my life with my mother,  I could feel joy begin to fill my heart and a smile slip on my face. Even as I write this blog, I can see her smile as she puts the finishing touches on her mac and cheese. I can see her unconditional and unwavering love for her family. Oh we meant everything to her and she meant everything to us.

 

The blessings and the lessons are many. Too many to share with you today. But I cherish everyone of them.

 

Today, mama will not be at Thanksgiving Dinner Table with me. But I carry her and the memories in my heart today and everyday that follows.

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

 

 

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