We all have had some pretty horrible break ups in our lives. Whether it was a marriage that ended, a friendship or business partnership, these kind of breakups can throw us into a tail spin of questions, confusion, pain and even regret. We begin questioning ourselves about what happened, why did it happen and who’s fault was it? We talk about with anyone who will listen. We feel compelled to talk about it over and over again.
What we are really trying to do is make some sense of what happened. We’re also trying to talk ourselves into it not being our fault. Subconsciously, we believe that if it’s not our fault that somehow we will feel better about what happened. Actually, we feel worse. And we find ourselves stuck and unable to truly move forward.
Does that sound about right? Have you been down this road before? Of course you have and guess what? There’s no guarantee that you won’t go down that road again. Let’s face it! Life happens and it’s not always pretty. We’ve all taken some hard blows in this life. We’ve all felt at one time or another that the bottom just fell out. You maybe there right now. When this happens, we feel like we simply cannot move. The pain is so intense that we are not sure if we will ever breathe again.
I’ve been there, you’ve been there and we’ve witnessed people that we love in that space as well. Then someone comes along and says to us, “You gotta let it go.” Don’t you just want to punch them in the face! I remember thinking, “Let it go! Are you crazy? Do you know what they did to me?” Ah ha, I have to laugh at this because I would be serious and angry at the same time. I used to think that was the most ridiculous thing anyone could say to a hurting person.
Yet, I’ve discovered that it was the most loving thing that I could do for myself. You see, when you continue to talk about the situation over and over again, you continue to recreate the original offense, hurt and pain over and over again. When you live in that space of intense pain, confusion and regret, you create bigger issues for yourself.
I want to share with you three things you can do to start the process of Letting Go:
- Stop Talking About It to Everyone: You body hears and takes in everything. The negative energy that accompanies the words/feelings/thoughts you continue to exchange with others about the situation goes right into your body. You may not see the results of this right away. But perhaps months or even years, your body begins to respond to the negative energy you heaped upon it and it shows up in diseases or come kind of illness. “Angela, are you saying that I am creating illnesses in my body just because I am talking about it?” Yes, I am. There are tons of research and scientific studies that prove negative thinking, feelings can create chronic illnesses in the body. If you need to talk things out to get some clarity, then hire a professional therapist. At least they will help you find a healthier way to talk about it and give you the proper tools on releasing and letting go.
- Choose to Forgive: I know it’s sometimes easier to say than to do. Only until you recognize that forgiveness is more about you than about the other person. When you don’t forgive, you remain stuck in the space of the offense. You become the person who cannot recreate a new narrative for your life because you are stuck. And even if you do try to move forward, nothing will happen because un-forgiveness serves as a block or barrier to your success. It will prevent anything from happening. When I learned this truth, I was willing to forgive everybody for everything. I could not imagine allowing something that someone did to me control my destiny. You take back your life and your control when you forgive. You choose YOU when you forgive.
- Set a Move On Date: Look at your calendar and set a date for when you are going to “Move On.” Mark that date on your calendar and it’s the day that you will take some kind of action step that indicates you are moving on. You may not feel like moving on but do it anyway. Remember, you cannot trust your feelings because they are connected to your erroneous belief system. Let’s say, you had a break up with a business partner and it’s left you in financial debt and broke. Set a date for when you are going to move forward. On that date, schedule to sit down and talk to a financial counselor who can help you find ways to lower your debt, give advice and move you in the right direction. There are tons of free services out there that will even call the creditors and negotiate lower balances and interest rates on your behalf. Also, launch a new online business that can create some easy and quick revenue. You can learn how to do this by watching some Youtube videos. These may seem like small steps, but doing enough of these small steps consistently can literally change your life. Whatever you do, set a move on date and take corresponding actions.
Remember, like is too short to hold onto to things that no longer serve you. The most loving thing that you can do for your life and yourself is to let go. When you resist the flow of life, you create more struggle. But when you surrender to the flow and to the principles that govern the universe, you create a space of infinite possibilities for your life. Choose you and live.
What are you willing to let go of today? Let us hear from you. Share in the comments below. Also share this on your Facebook page.